Dear Reva,

I am so sorry to hear about what is going on with your dog Toby, as I have written before I have an elder dog about the same age and I know exactly how you are feeling.

I also had another dog a few years back that suffered greatly with cancer so, I do know exactly what you are going through.

When I saw your letter come through this week, I called my family to pray with me for you and for Toby.  I do not know what the outcome will be but I really hope for you and Toby that he is well soon and I have seen God do this before with my old “ancient” dog.

My dog started with a tumor almost 3 years ago near her brain that we thought was a death sentence but she kept going- then last year a new tumor showed up on her leg and it bled, and bled and bled.  We went to two veternarians both said it was inoperable and I was of the mind and opinion that we might have to put her down.

By the way, let me comment on this for a minute - If you do have to at some point put Toby to sleep - do NOT feel bad or guilty about it!  I had to do this with my other dog that suffered greatly with her cancer and I wrestled and wrestled, seeking the same mercy from God that you are asking for, a peaceful passing in her sleep.  I was starting to get a little mad at God wondering why He was letting her suffer this way?  Wondering if He was not going to heal her why wouldn’t He let her pass quickly an quietly in peace in her sleep?  I was starting to feel that my putting her to sleep would be showing her more mercy than God was showing her and that is when I had a great truth revealed to me I think.  We cannot be more merciful than God.

Therefore I had to question who was really causing my dog’s suffering?  Here is what I came to conclude.  Even though our days are numbered by God, whether man or dog or the sparrow that falls to the ground, the evil one has some part in that transaction I think also.  I do not know the details of the transaction that took place in the garden of Eden when man fell into sin and gave up his dominion to Satan, but we know that Satan is the prince of the power of the air and as such I think he has some rights over the transfer from this realm into the realm of eternity.  We may see a hint of this in the book of Jude when it speaks of him contending with Michael over the body of Moses.

So point I am making is that God is mercy and love, and innocent animals never did anything to deserve this, they were subjected to suffering just as a byproduct of the fall.

It is not in God’s nature to torture and animal before its death with suffering - it is in the devil’s nature to do this - and I am fully convinced although God sets the time for a creature man or beast to die and leave this world, the devil, being aware of this somehow (maybe since he still has access to heaven in some way he gets to look at the dates appointed in the Book of Life?)maybe he will often torture humans and animals with suffering for a while before they die just because he is evil.   I further learned this with my mom when she passed last year, she suffered greatly for 3 weeks in the hospital before she passed and I know this was not of God.

So the point I am making is if Toby ever comes to the point where he is really suffering, not eating, not walking, tail drooping low and obviously not enjoying life - do NOT feel bad or beat yourself up if you have to put him to sleep, remember our father Adam once had dominion over all the creatures before the evil one stole it from him with trickery and remember the mercy of the second Adam, Yeshua Jesus, Who would show mercy to a suffering animal if it were not caught in the clutches of the fallen world and the evil one, so if we can take back dominion for that brief moment from the evil one to end the suffering of our beloved pets there is no shame or guilt in that at all.

Having said that, back to what I started out talking about - so I was of the mind that we might have to put our old dog to sleep, just as we had to put our other dog Sandy to sleep a few years ago.  Sandy was not eating, not happy, the last couple of days of her life could not walk on her own - but not with Sydney, even though the tumor on her leg was a horrible bloody mess and each day we had to clean it and clean up after her, she was basically still happy, eating, walking around, wagging her tail, so when I talked about putting her to sleep my wife would hear none of it and we would just continue to clean and bandage her tumor and pray.  

This went on for several weeks.  One day when cleaning her tumor I noticed it wasn’t bleeding quite as much, and a few days later I noticed it was closing over and growing fur back on it.  Now it is just a big lump on her leg, but does not seem to bother her one bit - that was almost a year ago now.

I don’t know where this letter will find you one week later since you wrote yours to doves - I don’t know if things have gotten a little better? (Hopefully?  I know myself and many others on Doves have been praying for you.). Or hopefully not worse.  But either way, in any situation I hope that my experiences bring a little comfort and rest to you knowing that God can work a miracle with your precious Toby, but also knowing if it ever comes to it and you have to make that hard decision, that you should not feel bad or guilty at all about showing tender mercy to your long time friend if you have to.

Toby will let you know what he needs, when he needs it.

Personally, I am convinced that this is just a Satanic attack on you to steal your joy because of the nearness of the rapture.  It is so close, maybe in a week or two, that he is doing everything he can to take our focus off of rejoicing in the Lord so he can steal every little bit of time away from us rejoicing in our near redemption.

The past few weeks have been no exception for me.  A couple of weeks ago, my wife got very ill with a fever that lasted her a full week.  I am normally not a worrier, but she hardly ever gets a fever when she gets sick, when she does it has never lasted more than a couple of days, and also this is how it started with my mom last year which lead to her passing, so it was a terrible week.  Add to that I was exhausted from doing my own chores plus working, plus cooking and cleaning - but thank God, she finally recovered.  So as soon as that trial ends, the next begins.  The next weekend, my daughter needs brakes on her car, so I replaced her brake pads and I stress NEVER touched her brake lines.  She goes to back out of my garage and I could see the panic in her eyes, her brake line failed and her car crashed into my house about 40 feet away, smashing the block of my foundation.  I cursed and used the Lord’s Name in vain, something I never do!  But I was provoked!  All the damage is repairable.  It turns out her brake line worked itself loose from the caliber (again freak occurrence and I’m sure satanic!) and the dent in her car easily popped out and my house can be repaired easy enough.  I’m sure the devil would have loved to loosen her brake line on the road but by God’s mercy He let it happen at home!  Then on to the next trial, so the following Friday, I normally do a Bible study every Friday night on zoom.  My stomach had been feeling lousy all day and I felt like I was getting sick.  I was hoping I hadn’t caught what my wife had.  I powered through the Bible study and as soon as it was over I started feeling much worse and getting chills and the fever.  Fortunately I sweated out the fever over night and with the Lord’s mercy, felt better the next day.  

Actually I really must give Glory to God on this, because years ago when I was a young man I had a terrible fever and probably a near death experience and He actually appeared to me in a dream and healed me.  When I was sick the other night I called that miracle to remembrance and prayed that He would heal me and I had another miraculous dream.  That night while I was sweating out the fever I dreamt that I was standing in the rain, only instead of normal rain drops, every “drop” that fell on me was the Holy Name of God in Hebrew  יהוה (YHVH) and in the morning I was better!  Glory to God!

Anyway, just telling you all of this to tell you that Satan is attacking the saints I think because we are so close to the rapture - and I actually believe that we are so close that Toby will probably go up with you!  (And my old ancient dog will come with me) I sure hope so anyway!  But we know our reward is soon coming, so I count all of these trials as light and temporary afflictions and count them all joy, and pray that should my trials get worse I will bear them with grace and never forget the love our God has for us.

In any case, I hope that this letter has encouraged you in some way, we comfort one another with the same comfort by which we have been comforted in our afflictions, and I know what you are going through sister.

Thank you also, for your thoughts and prayed for me.  I do miss the fellowship at RITAN, and still can’t really make sense of what went on over there, but I know that it will all be made right one day and look forward to the great assembly where we will all worship the King perfectly and without any wrong or selfish motives, forgiving one another and loving one another as the perfect family of God.

I will keep you and Toby in prayer and please keep us updated here on the doves.

Much love from your bother in Christ

Derrick