“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26).

He was not saying that this person cannot be good and upright, but that he cannot be someone over whom Jesus can write the word Mine. (as in a Bride)
Any one of the relationships our Lord mentions in this verse can compete with our relationship with Him. I may prefer to belong to my mother, or to my wife, or to myself, but if that is the case, then, Jesus said, “[You] cannot be My disciple.” This does not mean that I will not be... SAVED, but it does mean that I cannot be ENTIRELY His.

Our Lord makes His disciple His very own possession, becoming responsible for him.

“You are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

To say, “I am not my own,” is to have reached a high point in my spiritual stature. The true nature of that life in actual everyday confusion is evidenced by the deliberate giving up of myself to another Person through a sovereign decision, (as in a marriage) and that Person is Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit interprets and explains the nature of Jesus to me to make me.... "ONE with my Lord," not that I might simply become a trophy (wife) for His showcase.
- Oswald Chambers