"...I will still trust Him even when nothing makes sense..."

That strikes a chord in me.

Only Abba God knows the pain you went through, but I can relate to what you said. When nothing makes sense and His words appear false and (for me...) it's hard to know what in the world is going on...will I keep trusting Him and go on?

My husband and I were in the process of relocating from one part of our state to about 7 hours away during Tabernacles. I was a mess and didn't seem to be shining the love of Jesus or producing the fruit of the Holy Spirit at all.

The Lord impressed on me the verse "Be still and know that I am God"  when the expected dates came and went.

Our new landlady lost her son during the time we went home to pack our belongings. I spoke to her son once on the phone about a matter related to our new place and prayed at that time just off the cuff...that He knew King Jesus as Lord.

Anyone who reads this please pray for their family as the Lord leads you. This death of their only son was sudden and tragic. I cannot imagine what they are going through.

My heart is for those who need Yeshua or have turned away from their faith in Him like you wrote.

My hope is that the fruit of the Spirit actually will dominate my life as I wait for my master to come like He said He would.

FayinTX