Lots of requests for prayers the past weeks.  Most asking prayer for very serious matters.

Me too.  I hesitate to ask, because I am now resigned more or less to "me" being over.
It's been a while since I REALLY hoped to make it to the Rapture, although I have prayed
for it for all of us here, and for all who love God.

The final situation seems to be this:  I was going to Mayo clinic to have radiation therapy to
suppress my bone marrow.  But I was hesitant.  However I had all my plans made, including
plane, hotel, etc.

The nurse of the Radiation Oncologist called two days before I was to leave and asked me
to get a CBC, another blood test, and have it faxed.  I had it in Santa Fe at the hematology
office because I didn't have time to get one in the other direction where I usually have these
tests, in Los Alamos.  I was too busy getting ready and conserving energy.

I knew there had been an inaccurate test at the hematologist's office two months earlier,
with a new machine they installed when they got new management of their in-house lab.
But I guess I sort of thought they must have fixed it.  It had showed a low reading at that
previous time, which would have been good if it was true, of my platelets.

So this time I thought it would give an accurate reading.  But they had not fixed it, and
again the reading was too low to be real.  But that test went to Mayo, and my hematologist,
who doesn't like p32 (radioactive phosphorus) urged me to cancel the trip.  I did, because I
had to do it at once or lose money on the p32 (Medicare pays only if you show up, and they
have to order it special).  It's a lot of money, too, almost all my savings.

Today I had another routine test at the local lab.  My eyes are still bothering me so I
expected it would be "high".  It was, highest ever, so I tried to reset the trip to Mayo.
But the radiation oncologist would not allow me to come unless the hematologist
approved.  And the hematologist wouldn't.

So this looks like a death sentence or more likely a sentence of blindness and/or stroke.
I can't take chemo.  I tried seven times this year.

Many have prayed for me.  I thank those of you on Doves who did pray.  I probably won't
be able to use the internet much more, as the screen bothers my eyes, and I have to save
what little sight I have left.  But I will pray for you and trust you will for me too, even if you
pray for the Lord to take me home quickly, because I feel degraded by this useless struggle.
Bless you all.  See you sometime up there.

love,

Mariel