By
1 Cor 10:31
Hey
all…..
SO
THIS: ***
SERIOUS QUESTION ABOUT DEMONS!! *** (fivedoves.com)
And
about 5 of you wrote back….. and then I responded later
with this: **
Thank all of you for responding & for praying, too!!
(fivedoves.com)
*******
Well, it’s NOT OVER yet ….. and possibly (?)
never will be!! I don’t know. *******
I’m
definitely in Job’s territory right now – feeling that God
has deserted me!! Feeling that, no matter what
I do, He will not “deliver” me (as promised).
Yes, I’ve questioned Him a lot lately. As of Thurs.
afternoon, I was having a (much needed) nap – only to hear
things clanking in my bedroom. I awoke to listen
further… but then silence, so I didn’t go check.
By
Thurs. night (something in the air??) Husband &
I were really “getting into it”. Many heated
words!!
So
then later on Friday when I made my way to the bedroom –
this week alone: not one, not two, but THREE pair of
PRESCRIPTION (pricey) eyeglasses
stolen!!!!!! And for anyone who would suppose
I misplaced them…. NOPE, I actually had them in THREE
separate places, inc. one pair “stuffed” in a mattress …..
all G O N E!!!!!!
History!!!! [Will you please pray the ones I
now wear will “hold up” and NOT get stolen,
too!!] Hair clips…. It’s generally always just
little things – MY things, just to get my
attention!! Another vitamin/supplement (also not
cheap!!) ….. and the “clanking” I
heard?? Well: I have a few Scriptural
pics around the house – and one I have in the bath area
says, “I am His beloved” ~~ was thrown into
a different area, turned upside down. [Figures!
demons would HATE that we humans are HIS beloved!!]
My
first thought (cause I really wanted to dismiss this whole
idea that this was still happening….) was could that
have happened when I slammed a door…… but nope, upon
further inspection (just while doing my “routine”
put-myself- together gig)…. A bottled water from the
cabinet: opened, ¼ less full, PUT BACK IN
THERE. Now let me tell you, even in my most tired
state, I would not and have NEVER done that!!!!! Not
once!! EVER!!!!!
THEN,
on top: my makeup in drawer was “scattered”. I
know how we women can get going fast sometimes – but trust
me, I’m one of those OCD “types”….. “this goes in HERE”
and “that goes RIGHT THERE”. So naturally I
would NOTICE when eyeshadow was tossed in crooked.
Blush was turned upside down. Etc. etc.
{eeew,
can you imagine the feeling knowing your things have been
touched by demons???!!!}
WHEN
WILL THIS EVER STOP???
Candy,
I recall your mentioning to bring 2 faith filled people
into my home to pray over it with me. I’ll be
honest, I don’t even KNOW 2 people like that.
Sad…. Yes!! But I try to the Lone Ranger
Christian thing. Before anyone “gasps” and says oh
that’s bad – let me assure you, I learned FAR MORE about
the Bible and got closer to Jesus AFTER I LEFT
CHURCH!!!!!!! The church we attended was too much of
a “social club” hyper-focused on relationships &
fellowship. Not bad stuff unless it’s TOO MUCH of
that and not enough Biblical teaching and doctrine.
I
talk to and study about Jesus all day long!! I read
His Word. I listen to audible Bible.
Occasionally sermons either online or on TV (only the
conservative types though – like the late Adrian
Rogers.) Hardly a day goes by I’m not reading about
Him, thinking about Him, listening to the Bible, singing
praises, wanting to GO BE WITH HIM……
In
addition, they (at that church) wore me out (once
you say “YES” to ANY volunteer gigs –you’re an automatic
target for every ministry within the church!!)
It literally became a full time job for me (all
volunteer of course). THEN…. Ha, by
someone who loved to show up to mid-week dinners & sit
on her hiney yet do little else – I overheard her out loud
criticizing me for being “too involved”. Since
when was it any business of Miss Pew Warmer????
There
were other reasons – rumors fly easily even among
(especially among!!) church folks. They absolutely
love to slander & gossip. Long story, but the
Lord knows my record is clear and was when I left
there. Some 10 years ago, DH & I
joined another church only to run into the same
thing. Within about a month after we joined, rumors
(this time different subject, though ruins reputations
just the same…..) started by a guy who had a
vendetta against my husband – so when it all started
again, we threw our hands up & just left.
Haven’t been back.
Okay,
so long story there. But I honestly don’t even know
anyone with super faith to come and anoint the house with
me!! DH knows some, but you gotta’ remember, DH
isn’t buying any of this anyway!!! From the onset,
when all this nightmare (gang stalking) started
against me 2 years ago, he dismissed it. And
STUBBORNLY refused to even remotely consider it!!!!!
He’s just that way – goes through life totally OBLIVIOUS
about everything!! [for instance, my full time
job: reminding him to “zip up” before he takes off
to work each morning….forgetful, oblivious man!!]
So with my aging, and not being the prettiest gal on the
block – maybe that’s part of the reason, too.
(?) But like I once wrote, there is NOTHING ROMANTIC
about being stalked.
Yes,
my husband’s disbelief hurt our relationship – nearly
ruined it in fact. Two or three times that year I
told him “to get out” and never come back. Was sure
divorce was in the cards for us. (we’d HAD a good
relationship up till then.)
We
remained together, though this will always come between
us. I love him, so I decided to stay with him – and
do my best to not EVER mention any of this to him (I have
at times, only to met with his turning his back to me
& walking away….. “nice”, huh??!!) He might as
well “roll his eyes” too…..
He,
of all people, is going to be TOTALLY SHOCKED on Judgment
Day!!!!! I told him he’s going to wear egg on
his face for all eternity!! [well maybe not for that
long – but at least for the first 5 minutes or so!!]
The
one who started this nightmare against me is a local (TV)
meteorologist.
So
forgive my rabbit trailing….. DH, b/c he has several
Christian associates, might know of a couple people I
could invite over…… BUT that’s gonna’ go over as well as a
lead balloon….. when HE himself refuses to
believe!!! [for the record, I’ve prayed the Lord
would OPEN my DH’s eyes…. but so far….. “nothing”…. blind
as a bat….]
Feels
like something (evil) is truly in the air!!!!!
I mentioned my DH & I got into a row last night – it
started over a brash comment he made. Totally
uncalled for. He’s GENERALLY even keeled, and gentle &
does not always say criticizing things…. What CAUSED HIM
TO this time????? /scratching head, yet
feeling like “I know” (demonic activity in our
home)
Something
is truly in the air.
Admit,
I’m having perhaps the worst crisis of faith I’ve ever
had in my entire life!!!!!!!
It’s
just all this ongoing baloney which has greatly worn me
down!!!!!!!!! Most don’t even (want to)
believe me,… just the basics: [well you already know
if you read these other posts, but I’ll reiterate…]
I’ve had to deal with some REAL DEMONS that come
into my house & steal from me!!!!! I
know that sounds like I’ve gone off the deep end.
Trust me, I haven’t. How I can hold up with
forces of metal & keep a sound mind through all this
freaking nightmare is nothing but a miracle in
itself. As mentioned, they’ve stolen THREE PAIR of
prescription eyeglasses recently!! Plus too
many other numerous items….cherished sentimental greeting
cards & notes, needed supplements, both mine & our
dog’s…..etc. etc. . it’s always MY stuff….. just so I’ll
notice!!!!
So
from encouragement from a few Christians, I’ve tried
CASTING OUT DEMONS in Jesus’ name!!! And by His
blood…. I’ve anointed windows & doors (admit too tired
to do that daily) – besides I got to feeling
like I was chanting incantations by saying same
words over & over again, every day!!
Is that BIBLICAL?? And just HOW OFTEN must I do
it?? Won’t there ever be a time they will STAY
AWAY???
I’ve
tried in every way I know to do this. I’ve tried to
expect & claim the victory.
Finally
early this past week I said I can’t do this any more – so
by reading Mark 9 where Jesus’ disciples were unable to
cast a demon out of the crippled boy – and Jesus told them
this kind would come out only
by prayer and fasting…..
so I tried that!! Admit I couldn’t fast past noon –
got weak. But I did that daily. Felt more
peace for a scant few days, telling myself, “it’s
over”. At least I WANTED to believe that!!!
Still
though it hasn’t stopped. If ONLY Jesus would rebuke
them – b/c He told the demon (per Mark 9) to
NOT ENTER AGAIN!!!!!! Of
course He was talking about to not enter again into the
boy – and yet just as easily He could tell the demons to
NOT re-enter my dwelling place!!
*******
It’s spirits of harassment and stealing coming against
me!!!! 1 Peter 3:22 says angels and
authorities and powers have been made subject to Him….. so
HE could stop this if He would/wanted to….????
Then…. WHY WON’T HE???? *******
So,
having a crisis of faith, and with my DH & me getting
into it – last night (and this Friday morning) I’ve all
but shaken my fist in God’s face!!!! Terrible thing
to admit; I’m just being honest. Realizing of course
He could stomp me out like a bug if He desired.
Sigh….
I don’t WANT to be this way!! I want to FINISH
STRONG in this race, but man oh man have I majorly
failed!!!!!! ☹
Never in a zillion years did I envision this would be how
my life would end up. I mean, I live right
here in (cough! Cough!) “safe” America!
I’m as American as baseball & apple pie!.....
I’ve
served the Lord for most of my life – w/the exception of
my prodigal stages in early 20’s. I’ve got many
flaws. I’m not a perfect Christian by any
stretch!!!!! Nor will I ever claim to
be. Even if I “claimed” to be perfect in my walk – 1
Cor 10:12 – BE CAREFUL THAT YOU DON’T FALL!!!!!!!
I
realize Phil 1:29 says we will suffer for Christ.
But for HOW LONG??? Does He really want me to
suffer at the hands of demons?? I would think
not!! It’s seriously causing me to
question everything. Do His promises really
stand?? Then WHERE is His angel to encamp round
about me (around those who “fear Him”) and DELIVER them
(me)???? ~~ per Psalm 34:7
At
the same time, I’m TRYING to say as Job said, “though He
slay me, yet will I trust in Him”!!
I
just have one thought & hope daily: and that’s
to GO HOME!!!!! Prayerfully, some how I will
be “counted worthy” to escape & to stand before
Him!! [per Luke 21:36]
I’m
not feeling very worthy right now…..
My
name is Reva & I live in the Tulsa (general) area
should anyone want to pray for me. Can’t begin to
tell you how much that would be appreciated!
Oh,
and for “Eeyore’ish” as this sounds, I have great
resiliency and promise I do (and will!) bounce
back! THANKS TO THE LORD & keeping my eyes ON
HIM!!!!!!
I
will FOREVER be grateful for this one awesome email friend
I have (who does believe me!!). And she IS RIGHT,
I’ve actually run across some of those very demons who
would LOVE to kill us outright!!!!!! Maybe God
told them (like he told satan re: Job:
“hands off”) I guess – as hurt and tearful as
I am right now – that it will be a great honor to be
standing near Job when I’m in heaven.
Brought
(needed, refreshing!) tears to my eyes when my
friend wrote:
As I contemplated on your words this
morning (so glad you shared .... no one should try
to bear such a burden alone) I was struck by the
fact that your persecution is a perfect example of how God
PROTECTS us from the legion of demonic forces that want to
kill us outright. All I know for certain is that He chose
you for this task & He has equipped you, spiritually
and emotionally, to survive the storm. You always
do!
Are you weak & discouraged from
satan's constant battering? OF COURSE you are!
ANYONE would be.
But you don't see yourself as others
do, Reva. Believe it or not, we are learning by your
example to still trust God when we don't understand things
..... even when we're downright mad at Him!!!
Please don't think I'm minimizing the
situation. My spirit is troubled by your suffering, which
I know is very real. Just want you to know you're
not failing God by having a crisis of faith. Must admit I
wish He'd show us the *big picture* but it's not for us to
know just yet.
😈🌏This ole mudball is getting
muddier/uglier/more evil by the day. We don't
have long before the last grain of sand falls through the
hourglass. JUST ONE LAST GRAIN!!!
Be uplifted in that!
And
with that: I hope some day (very, very, VERY
soon) I will be signing off with my very last
MARANATHA!!!!!!
May
I ask one more thing?? Toby our BELOVED
dog – has really been having some (digestive) as well as
other issues lately. When I look at him, HOW VERY
BONY HE IS, and has not one, not two, but MULTIPLE issues
– I really can’t see him being with us much longer.
Possibly weeks, though I’d love to be wrong. Perhaps
not even that long. “Been down this road” with
humans/family and dogs alike -- and in my opinion
it’s not even the death itself that bothers me as much as
the AGONIZING “knowing” they’re going to
die!!!!! Just “wrings” it out of me!!
Who among us does not hate death so, so
much??!!!!
Still
my hopeful, heartfelt prayer is that the rapture is super
soon & Toby, too, will fly!!!! But if
that’s not in God’s plans, my 2nd hope is that
He will “take Toby” very gently & peaceably one
night right before then!! I’m sure there
are some out there who hate as much as I do having to “put
down” your loyal animal. Oh my word, have had to do
that with 2 – and it’s so very haunting!!!
Feels like you are KILLING your best friend!!
Thanks
for your sweet prayers!! Perfume/incense to
heaven!!!!!
And
I’m already “feeling better” about this other
mess!!! So very nice the few times I go out in
public & am actually left alone from these
people. I’ve returned to anointing windows &
doors, will do every day if necessary. I just have
to do it in a way that doesn’t cause me to feel like I’m
saying incantations, ya’ know??
Thanks
for reading/listening! Prayers!!