To Nicole re random thoughts

Dearest Nicole
I could have written your post "random thoughts" thus my heart goes out to meet yours.
I too have been judged falsely and abandoned by my family- until they need something from me. I love my mum but she manipulates me by using guilt.
I was in the direst of straits financially and wealthy members of my family piously said "I'll pray for you". A complete stranger- a man who serves and loves God came to my rescue- I am ashamed of my family.
But- I forgive them and continue to love them- no matter what. If Jesus can love us wretched beings then we can go against our will and show love to others with the leading of the Spirit within. I've struggled deeply with this so I sure understand- simply surrender ALL of it to Jesus and know that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord- often we only see it in retrospect- if at all- but we have this assurance.
But- ah there's always a but :)
This doesn't mean you allow them to walk all over you. As a child of God you have the right to gently rebuke and chastise other Christians you see sinning. This isn't judging- it's actually tough love. You love so you point out the sin behavior- even if it costs you the relationship with that person- we see a Christian stumble- we gently chastise and correct in order to get them back on that narrow path. If this bears no fruit then sometimes tough love is needed. I've been there with one family member in particular. Yes she thought I was being judgmental, yes she was hurt- but she looked in the mirror I held up- and repented. And this is the heart of the matter.
Finally- it's often the sin behavior that once plagued us that we recognize in others and then chastise- a wonderful example of all things working for His good. We've been there ourselves- we understand at times it takes tough love to get the person to take a long hard look at themselves. This was the case for me and oh brother did it hurt at the time- but I'll be forever grateful to the person who held that mirror up to me- it took a year before I could even speak to her again without crying- I felt she had judged me, hurt me, condemned me unfairly -  but she didn't- what she actually did was love me enough to risk the loss of our relationship by pointing out the area I was sinning in. That's love.
I'll be praying with you Nicole-
Love ysiC Susan B.