Archeologists have unearthed what they say
is the oldest known
version of the Mayan calendar and one
that doesn't "end" with the Earth's destruction
later this year. Yeah, you're welcome.
According to The Washington Post's
Brian Vastag, researchers excavating the
"lost" city of Xultún in present-day
Guatemala discovered new astronomical tables carved
into the wall of a "1200-year-old residential
building." Much like the Maya codices that
conspiracy theorists say predict an
end-of-the-world date in December 2012, the
tables chart planetary movements, moon and star
patterns, and can predict the positions of celestial
bodies thousands of years into the past and the
future.
Numerous doomsday predictions are based on
the claim that previously known codieces, like the
famous Dresden Codex, chart the entire length of
human history, but mysteriously stop on December 21,
2012 as if the Mayans knew that would be the last
day humans would be around. However, the
archeologists say that these the newly
discovered tables — which pre-date the oldest known
codex by as much as 500 years — span over 7,000
years of time, stretching far beyond of present age.
So, you can breathe a little easier, though the news
will come as a big shock to
the tourism industry in Belize and other
"entreprenuers" who are willing to take all your
money off your hands before the big one
hits.
If you still need something to panic about,
Tulane University’s Marc Zender, who led the
expedition, says that the Mayan calendar still
begins a new “long cycle” in 2012, but compares he
compares to an "odometer on a car rolling over from
99,999 miles to zero: “You go, ‘Yay,’ but the car
just doesn’t disappear.” Oh, really? Well, we'll see
about that.