Hey there Mike Plunkett and all Doves

Can I offer thanks to Jesus that he has filled you Mike with a fire to warn souls of their impending destruction. I think to be 'a voice crying in the wilderness' is as you say an uncomfortable place to be and requires resilience and a strength to withstand long suffering and solitude.
Like you, I can only offer that which God reveals in me and I would suggest that God has set before you a crown that will enthuse you to run the race well. I believe, someone far cleverer than me once said “we can only walk in the light we are given” and I must admit the light of your revelation is beautiful but different from mine. I stand amazed at what God reveals through you. It is God's glory to illuminate us all in a different hue. I want to encourage you to continue to let your gift and revelation shine.

What I am learning, as God gets it through my thick skull is that we are all in God's providence and most importantly those born of God act in fulfilment of God's will. This is a magnificent thing to discover, it is called living in faith.

In Philippians Paul exhorts us to comprehend something amazing. He says to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who is at work in you both to will and to do according to his purpose. John 1 v 12 states something quite extraordinary.

12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. This means that as a born-again child of God, we share an amazing birthing. In its own way as significant as Jesus own amazing birth. He is the first born of many with an amazing miraculous birth. And believe this

Philippians 1:6

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

If you will allow me to indulge in a story of personal realisation which really helped me cope with those dark moments that you allude to in your post. I an aware that there is 'nothing new under the sun' and if I am presenting something quite banal then please forgive me.

Living with self doubt is not a good bedfellow. I trusted God but had no trust in me. I always believed that I had the potential to miss the mark, my own failings would be my nemesis. A classic example is where you say in your post Mike that you are concerned that you get no feedback ? You ask 'is your ministry really relevant ?' Well I for one am happy to get no feedback because per chance it was good feedback then that would make me proud, and detract from God's glory. I must stay humble, but wait, now I am proud that I am humble !!! A web of deceits encompass us from which we cannot escape. Romans 7 expresses this realisation well

24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?

Jeremiah even more so when he says the human heart is deceitful beyond all things, it is beyond cure.

I looked for other failings that I might demonstrate when responding to God's perfect plan for salvation. Then it struck me, I needed to repent better because that is my response to God's call. I said sorry but did I really mean it ? Could my deceitful heart be deceiving me that I was sorry when really it was just looking to save my soul by uttering the right words. Changing how I felt was beyond me and I was not sure what I felt either.

One bright day God showed me that repentance was a gift he had to give me along with the faith to accept it. I started to learn that salvation is all of God and that includes giving me the gift of repentance. For me to Work up a contrite spirit of repentance was as useful as any 'works' and thoroughly doomed to burn in the fire of God's testing.

During this exploration of repentance there was one particular person that God brought to my attention. This was the penitent thief crucified next to Jesus. He was uniquely special because I believed he was the only person whom Jesus promised salvation in his earthly ministry. I was confident that if I could emulate all that the penitent thief did then I could be sure of salvation. It was here I saw that salvation was acquired in a moment of revelation both for the thief and for me

In essence the thief accepts the following;

1) He Fears God. He recognises God's Sovereignty.

2) He is on a cross aware that here the righteousness of God deals with his sin. He accepts God's Judgement and ruler-ship.

3) To speak to Jesus from a place of acceptance of God's judgement. He had to be an a cross next to him to converse

4) Most important of all he has to return what he stole.

At this point I was confused because while the Bible tells us he was a thief it never told what he stole. But God seemed insistent that this was of paramount importance

The Revelation

When the penitent thief says to Jesus “remember me when you come into your kingdom” he was asking Jesus to recall the promise given to Adam long before in the garden, when God spoke of a future salvation

Genesis 2:17

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Luke 23:43

And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

I believe this to be an overwhelming display of the two most emphatic statements ever made by God to humanity. One marks the curse of judgement because of man's theft and disbelief in the garden, the other marks the moment of man's blessings in belief at the moment his penalty is discharged and stolen goods returned.

As if to draw attention to the solemnity of the truth being offered God wraps each judgement with an oath of veracity. “Surely” this day, death will follow as a consequence of disbelief in the garden, and “verily” this day, life will follow as a consequence of belief at the cross. Adam who stole that which was forbidden him in the garden, is the penitent thief at the cross who finally gains re-entry to God's presence.

John 19:30 “It is finished”. This is not just the culmination of Jesus' earthy ministry which ended in victory this day, but was in fact the culmination of God's recovery promised to Adam in the garden, when God promised there would be a way back for the exiled Adam and his children. The thief believes Jesus when he says the consequence of his acceptance of God's gift of salvation is freely given at the cross is Adam's redemption.

Lucifer said: "I will be like the Most High. Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, to the lowest depth of the Pit" (Isaiah 14:14-15)

Genesis 3:4-5

4The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! 5"For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Lucifer's desire was to be as God, like God, independent and above all other authority. He wanted to write the book of rules and be the ultimate arbiter and judge of what was right and wrong. To answer to no one. To walk alone and in his own power and following his own will. This was his aspiration and with this ambition he seduced Adam and Eve.

What did Adam and Eve steal in the garden ?, what did they take that was not theirs ?. The sovereignty of God. The right to rule. What did the penitent return to God at the cross ? God's sovereignty and rightful ruler ship over himself

Luke 23:42

And he was saying, "Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!"

The thief was asking Jesus to remember him from the garden of Eden. He was Adam. Here Adam was asking the sovereign King Jesus if he could be allowed back under the sovereignty of God the father. He no longer wanted to be as God but one with God and under the protection of the true and loving God

Oh the irony of this revelation. To become as God or like God was the lie promised to Adam and Eve if they stole that which was not theirs to take. If only they could see that in the garden they already exercised God's authority. They named all the animals and the earth was given to be ruled over by them in God's name. This was to be a paradise, but once Adam and Eve assumed there own authority over the earth and stole God's sovereignty, it became a bed of thorns and brambles.

Genesis 3:17-18

17 Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.

Toiling and 'works' would be our only recourse as under our authority: this was all that was available 18 "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; 'works' will never produce anything other. All dust was cursed, the earth was cursed, Adam was cursed. We could never effect our own deliverance from this because our works only ever produced thorns.

So what is repentance ? Surely it is recognising that God is sovereign. It is accepting in your life God's right to rule. God's kingdom has come. No longer do want to be as God. We will never again say "I will be like the Most High. You must return what Adam stole in the garden...God's kingship and right to rule over your life. It is not yours by right...it is stolen property and must be returned. That is true repentance. Hand back God's sovereign right to rule in your life and then the Kingdom of God has come. All righteousness is fulfilled on our part when we hand back the sovereignty over our lives to God.

As far as I was aware Jesus only ever told one man that his salvation was assured and that was the penitent thief on the cross. “I say to you on this day, you will be with me in paradise.” But God told me, not exactly. He promised salvation to the first man Adam in the garden “the seed of the woman would crush the serpent's head” When the thief asked Jesus to “remember him when he came into his kingdom” he was Adam asking Jesus to remember that promise given Adam in the garden. Adam (the penitent thief), handed Jesus back the sovereignty of God he stole in the garden to Jesus on the cross. Jesus would hand back that sovereignty to the father at his ascension. Jesus replies that “this day” the promise given Adam was fulfilled. It was finished.

We likewise must perform the act of true repentance that God requires. That is to return that which does not belong to you, that which was stolen, that which we were told not to take in the garden, that is the sovereignty over our life, that we might be as God, and allow God his rightful rule.

When God's kingdom (sovereignty) is come in our life and we return that stolen property then the 'Lord's prayer' starts to shake the foundations of the earth. Because under the sovereignty of God, the next amazing statement, God's will be done in your life. No longer will you doing works which despite our best efforts, can only ever produce thorns and briers. Now understanding that apart from Jesus you can do NOTHING but God will work through you to will and to do according to HIS purposes. No more self doubt. Once under the sovereignty of God NOTHING inside you, or outside you stop God's will being done

Thy Kingdom come...Thy will be done

Ozzie