Hi David,

I empathize with your experience. While our life histories are disparate, my salvation experience parallels yours. Unlike most "born agains",  I cannot put the exact day/hour/minute to my salvation. It was a process. I did not instantly turn from my sins ... regrettably I still seem to cling to what, if not sins, are at least deplorable behaviors, smoking, self centeredness and a short fused temper being the most obvious.

What did happen immediately was a sin consciousness, an awareness and regret of my sins that had been heretofore absent. The first was, "Oh my God, what have I done to my sons?"

I started to pray for my sons. #1 son was in the USAF and had become a heavy drinker. He rapidly became an abstainer and a born again Christian. Today he is a police officer. #2 son's career is working with disadvantaged youth. Although he himself is not saved (yet) (as far as I know), his work with his kids has produced more than one pastor, not to mention sterling representatives of other professions. #3 son remains a work in process.

To this, day by day, even unto this day, was added an overwhelming list of my offenses against God, by dreams, remembrances, associations and other means that, lacking the words, I can neither name nor describe. My daily sin confession occupies a considerable period of time. As one is dealt with, two more crop up as replacements, extending back to early childhood. ("Oh, Lord, how could I have done this?")

Like you, I have a considerable suspicion of the sinner's prayer. Certainly an unknown percentage of those those uttering the prayer are making an authentic plea for salvation, communicating from the heart, "Lord, I am a lost sinner. I believe on Thee. Please save me." Most, however, are not. In fact, I think most utter it in the hope that it is enough to make the evangelizer go away. And, if the object of the evangelizer is merely to persuade the unsaved to utter the prayer, he is doomed to failure except for acquiring another hash mark on his scorecard. Have you noticed how many missions report on how many sinners prayers were uttered? And, have you noticed how the prayer is amplified in infinite varieties of interminable and ponderous rhetoric? I prefer my three sentence version.

The flip side are small children. They, on the whole, have no problem giving their lives to Christ, and in many instances, the change in them is immediately apparent. (I've been involved in child evangelism for almost 25 years.) 

I suppose this is why every anti-God government and private institution is contending so vehemently for the minds and hearts of our children. It's a never ceasing wonder to me that ten minutes with a skilled, trained child evangelist can set all their efforts to naught.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CHILD EVANGELISM MISSION!

Our Bible says that no man comes to the Father unless the Father first draws him, and that God will in no way conceal Himself from any that earnestly seek Him. (Forgive the paraphrasing. I'm too hot and lazy to find the exact quotations.) While evangelism is surely not one of my gifts, I remain willing to try, but I depend upon the leading of the Holy Spirit to move me to speak with a particular person. It is God using me as an instrument to draw that person; it is NOT me in my own strength leading that person to salvation. I've also learned not to expect any immediate result, viewing the process as planting a seed which will, in God's time, according to His will, germinate and flourish and bear fruit, watered and fertilized by persistent intercessory prayer.

Like you, I also am intensely suspicious of the plethora of NDE's, visions,dreams, visitations, out of body experiences, et al, that seem to permeate the Christian landscape while resembling the occult more than anything I can find in my Bible. I once knew an individual (now deceased) who claimed three NDE's, none of which bore any resemblance to the content of my Bible.

I notice three common factors in ALL of these. 1. They are all contradictory in one or more details. 2. No one, no where, no how, ever, ever, ever mentions testing the spirits, including people who should and must know this is mandatory. 3. No one claiming a visit to heaven seems to realize that the inhabitants are NOT in their glorified, resurrected bodies. 

1 John

4 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

² Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

³ And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

Well, I've been prattling on for far longer than I intended.

Maranatha,

Bob