For Carol C.
Sorry  I am coming a bit late to comment to you, but I just wanted to tell you, you are in my prayers.
May the Lord Jesus comfort and heal you, and bring HIS peace upon you, Amen
 
When I was being "tested", the answer he desired of me was "not my will, but thine be done". As much as I wanted to keep my home, he had other plans. as much as I wanted to have work, and support my family properly, he had other plans. Through the hardship, which pales in comparison to yours, I drew near to Him, and he in turn drew near to me. I trust you are experiencing the same. My life is his now, the totality of it. He blesses and comforts when I need comfort, he disciplines when I need correction and repentance, and he carries me when I am unable to walk.
 
I had my child in the hospital with a severe case of pneumonia. He was on a ventilator, with a machine breathing for him. When they removed that ventilator, as I was in the room, he stopped breathing. My wife said, he just rolled on his wires and they ceased to function so the monitors were not active, but I know what I saw, a lifeless body. In that moment, I prayed earnestly for him. In that Moment I understood God's will. In that moment, I prayed, Not my will but thine be done. In that moment, I understood the cross in a way so personally that there is nothing that will separate me from his Love. In that moment I felt like Abraham, ready to sacrifice Isaac, but he sent his angel and my son breathed again. As my Son awoke, he asked me what happened. Though he does not remember because of the medicines he was on, He acknowledged that he experienced something as well. I do not know what.
 
I am sharing this with you, not for my own glory, but for your benefit, that however hard life gets, he is there with you, and he will reveal himself to you at those times if you draw near to him. I had a  good outcome, as my son is alive now. Obviously yours was not so, and I cannot even begin to understand your loss. I do know that it is easy to hold this against God, Much like Job who just could not understand why. But just remember, as you are his child, so too was your child his. He is in a better place, and I pray soon we will meet those we have lost. Be strong in the faith, and trust that the Lord will work all things out for his will, and his Kingdom.
 
I pray you will see his face/countenance shining upon you.
 
God bless.
 
David H.