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Your testimony was like me looking in the mirror. I was going to go into the ministry in college, But I had put myself on a pedestal. I was "highly regarded" in my church, but he Knocked me down off that Pedestal. I rebelled because of this, But in all my time of being a prodigal, he was there. "Speaking" to me, and Guiding me, Teaching me to not love the things of this world. For 20 years I could not speak what he was showing me. Even now, I am mute verbally regarding these things. Writing has been my only outlet. I too have been successful, and failed, more failure than success. I Had built a beautiful house, with my own hands, But that was taken away, and he showed me Psalm 127 That made me realize he was building something for me that was far greater. I have totally surrendered to his will, I came back hoping to be his servant, but instead he received me as his son. What can I do to return his love to him, but obey the "New commandment" he gave to the apostles in the upper room discourse. "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12-13). If that is his will, then I will obey.

My calling came at a point when i was about to lose everything. I was falling apart Physically, financially, mentally, my family, my house: all the things of this world we hold in high regard. In prayer that night, I surrendered all to him. He then showed me the following verses as my calling. Note that I could barely walk at the time because of my knees. Isaiah 40:28-31 I will copy and paste it here.
 
 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
 
 
I had to laugh at the time. I was not even walking right, let alone running or flying. This was the first time we had "laughed" together. He then reassured me with the words found in Isaiah 41:9-13:
 
you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
10 fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 Behold, all who are incensed against you
shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
shall be as nothing and shall perish.
12 You shall seek those who contend with you,
but you shall not find them;
those who war against you
shall be as nothing at all.
13 For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
 
These words have rung true ever since.
 
God bless you for sharing your testimony, I believe there are many others out there who are being readied. Yes, Hebrews 5:4 "speaks" here.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
David