Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Laodicean Church inn,

All the people there were in bed sleeping in sin.

And the gay men and women with their same-sex spouses

Were all snuggled together in their beds in their houses

While visions of naked bodies danced through their heads.

They didn't fear God and had no feelings of dread.

It was the right wings of the churches that didn't want them to wed, 

But they loved each other when all was done and was said.

So they slept on through the long night

With the darkness of sin blinding their sight.

But to the Philadelphia Church, Jesus in the air did appear

Calling the true believers as their redemption was here.

And by the dawn's early light, "the Rapture took place in the night" was the chatter,

And the left wings of the church were left behind as sins do matter.

Then all that could be heard next was the weeping & gnashing of teeth

Of those unrepentant sinners wailing in the world beneath.