Dearest Robin,

I too had an alcoholic spouse but I was very fortunate in the fact that I married him after he had experienced all the failures that only alcoholism can bring.

Satan wasn't through with him yet and our first year of marriage found me wanting to get a divorce.
One year was all I could handle, even though I loved him and wanted him to change, rather than to have myself change by ending the marriage.

I was attending Al-Anon  meetings to learn all about "tough love".
This is a quote from their book, and I was desperately trying to practice this on a daily basis:

"I shall not take to myself, **nor suffer over,**
the actions and reactions of other people.

"Other adult human beings are not my responsibility ,
***NO MATTER HOW CLOSELY THEIR LIVES MAY BE INTERTWINED WITH MINE***
 
*I will not allow myself to be troubled by anyone else*.

"My one goal is to improve my own way of living and looking at life.
I can live no one's life but my own".----
from pg.7 in al-anon book
"One day at a time"

Let me tell you the hard truth.
You will commit suicide if you continue to live in a lose-lose situation.

Another hard truth:
As long as you are around your practicing alcoholic, he will continue to abuse you until you slip over the edge.

Get out of the relationship as soon as feasible.
He will not take even one step of improvement until everyone is out of his life, and then he has only himself to look at.
Do not allow him to contact you in any way.

You will only follow that directive if you truly and sincerely love Him.
If you ignore that advice, he will have more chances to self-destruct, and die from alcoholism and go straight to hell without a split-second detour.

If you leave, and he still resists God's grace and the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous,
and drinks himself to death, it is **NOT**
your fault, and you will carry guilt only because you want to continue whipping yourself.

"Pity leads to self-pity"

You have got to be frank with yourself and brutally forthright with Satan.
Satan would love to have you kill yourself and keep your spouse in the condition he is in by you not having the courage to follow common sense.

I will be praying that you have the stamina and courage to break the relationship, and to stay away until AA and God can intervene.

God's arm is not short that He cannot save. He can lift your spouse out of the mire and make a new person out of him.
But only if you step out of the way and let Him.

I went to where a group of people would pray daily for him.
*DOVES, PLEASE PRAY 911 PRAYERS OVER THIS SITUATION*

This is how I pray:
1. i FIRST bind the strongman (Satan) over your husband and over yourself... both of you.

*in Jesus' name* , ask God to bind and rebuke all devils over your spouse.

2. i pray that both of you be covered under the healing blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

3. I pray that mighty angels protect you both
 24 /7 - 365...
as in Psalm 91.

4. That God will grant to your husband a
 "moment of clarity"
for him to see himself as he really is, and then that he will want sobriety more than to be drunk.

5. Pray for yourself to have the courage to
LET GO, AND LET GOD.

We really are stronger than we think we are.

My story ended beautifully.
All those who prayed for my husband wrought a miracle from God.
In a few months he was clean, sober and dry.

He was a new person in Christ and gave me 37 years of continuous sobriety and truly, truly the happiest years of my life. He was strong in the Lord.

I was only *minutes* away from the lawyers office in 1975, when the change came and stopped me in my tracks.

In 2013, he went directly to heaven, non-stop and in the twinkling of an eye in the arms of our Lord. I can't wait to see him and hug him again.

I cannot take any credit for his change. That occurred ONLY between God and him.

I cannot take credit for his success, nor am I responsible for ANY of his drinking.

May God work a miracle beyond any expectation in your life, brave Robin.
I and the Doves are earnestly praying for you.
In His love,
Angela