By 1 Cor 10:31

Our Dear Dear Sister!!!!

You are carrying SOOO much weight!!  SUCH A BURDEN!!!!   So many choose to not share what’s REALLY going on in their lives – understandable!!   We don’t want to feel vulnerable!  Or let others know that while everyone (on Facebook for example!)  seems HAPPY, joyful, living the abundant life – always happy, always smiling with an abundance of friends & family around – and going off on their luxury vacations!! 

So we keep to ourselves.  Curl our tail between our legs (as it were).

We are GLAD you shared, Robin!!!   Of course you will be in our hearts & prayers this coming week & forevermore – until that Trumpet delivers us!

You know how we are to confess to one another…. Well I have a totally different situation but one where I, too, feel “STUCK”…… “trapped”…… and it has manifested in me lots of unhappy days…. admit, I’ve questioned the Lord multiple times!!  WHY is He allowing this??  Like Job’s wife, the thought has come to me to “give up on Him”.  Many of my days are unhappy now.  Sometimes the desire to live has been sucker-punched right out of me.  And yet, I rarely share with even my closest friends (the few who are left) … as who wants to hear depressing news during the height of what should be a joyous season???!!!!   I mean, good grief, I don’t want to be known as the “Debbie Downer” who people are always running away from!!

{But I do wonder, and yes often even question the Lord:  WHY do “I” get sucker punched with SOOOOO much crap ß sorry!!  Nonsense…..in life??   Others I know – and this is no lie, would FOLD if they had to endure even a slight fraction of what I’ve been put through in life!!   sighs!   Yet overall, it’s not a contest is it?}

I am truly sorry you lost your mother this year!  Caregiving is THEE hardest job in the entire world!!  Matters not who it’s for!  Friend, loved one/s, even pets.  Caregiving is HARD on the caregiver & can take it right out of even the strongest people!!

AND….. I am most sorry you have to live like this with the constant abuse coming from your husband.  I “understand” the very little energy part to move ~~ esp. as we age!!!  Robin, is there a WOMEN’S SHELTER you could go to??  At least temporarily until someone can help you move to a more permanent place?

FWIW, though my mother was not an alcoholic (father & brother were/is!.... in the worst way….)  yet I believe my mother suffered from some kind of psychiatric disorder, perhaps even bipolar depression…. Not sure, will never know as she’s been gone for a number of years.  But only reason I’m saying is b/c my own emotions were greatly affected by similar to what you’re going through:  is she happy today?  Then I can be happy!  Will this comment anger her?   EGGSHELLS!!!!   Yes Ma’am!!!  TOTALLY UNDERSTAND that!!!  Unfortunately though I loved her very much, that’s what my life was ALWAYS like with her!!  But then I definitely had to live that way around my father – never knew on any given day whether he’d be mad, glad, angry…. Just anything could set him off.  Did my darndest best to be a wallflower & barely even breathe around him…… learned behavior from a very early age.  ‘course he could always find or make up a reason to get on my case anyway.

Soooo many unpleasant memories & though I do my best to get on past them & LOOK FORWARD to what’s ahead – sometimes they come back in heavy waves smacking me over & over again like the tide of an ocean.  Winter and/or cold days seem to hit me the worst.

I “try” to set my mind on things above & realize that some day God Himself will wipe away every tear!!  AND!!  BONUS!!!  He’ll also wipe our memory slates clean so we won’t have to forever endure these awful memories.

Robin, I will pray for you & your situation!  When you think of it, will you pray for me, too?  I need to BE the “holy” Christian who I WANT to be & not act like a horse’s patoot even when I’m under the gun & stressed in the worst way!!!!!  And trust me:  this year I HAVE BEEN!!!!!  Stressed to the max I mean.  I “confess” that cussing is my worst sin!!  And I’ve been badly cussing in a way that’d make a sailor blush.  I don’t want to do that!  And yet I do….  ☹   Sounds like the Apostle Paul.  Well I never admitted to being perfect in this life!!  But I look forward to never sinning against the Lord ever again.

 

Love you, Robin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’ll be thinking of you!

 

Romans 15:13 à  for both of us!!!!!