I winced when I saw your post about your "IT literate"  son.  In some ways I saw myself in the mirror from years gone by.  May I make a small suggestion that  I hope might assist in future dealings of this nature?

On this topic of "me ism" (which might be where this  intellectual arrogance comes from), years ago, Max Lucado wrote an excellent book (now with a study guide that will give you some pointed questions to ask), entitled  "It's not about Me".   

I read and re-read it to be able to keep my footing and centering at work.  I too,  like your son,  I am in the IT field, and it is a constant battle:  "I'm smarter than you; I'm better than you".   IT is extremely competitive.  Like most other occupations, it's tough to be a humble servant for Him without getting walked on.  It is lonely sometimes.

Perhaps this book can help you make a "cross- centered" point with your son and help him see that he can do a bit better in his communications with you.

So much is driven by technology, "Love people, and use things", is not the standard it should be.

YSIC,

Jane