First off,
please forgive me for not having said anything much earlier….
Some how I was so, so ashamed…. And wanted to ask for prayer,
yet didn’t want to feel like I was a victim either.
Anyway,
these past few months have been RELENTLESS with oppression
against my mind! Like a constant war. Let me back
up & explain….
I have a
friend who is EX-new age, now a Christian, and some 18 years
ago after she became a Christian, she trashed all her previous
new age books….. she’d had a lot of them. Anyway, I’ve
asked her and she does not think another person can “cast” a
spell on someone.
Yet because
this was not letting up, I also consulted a (NOW a
Christian!!) but she too was EX-new age and even
involved in black magic…. Yikes! She’s now a solid
Christian & won’t put up with any hooten-nanny…. In
fact, in many ways, I see her as over the top strict, yet I’m
sure it’s from her past and she’s not willing for anyone to
fall into following false teachers. At any rate, she
said yes, people can cast spells on others, and mainly it
takes if it’s a non-Christian. Even with Christians
though, she said there can be demon “affiliation”.
Okay, on to
my story:
I’ve been a
Christian for a good number of years, and yet have never
experienced anything like this. IF indeed another
person, or a group of people can cast a spell on another, then
most likely it would be because I stirred up some new age
people in January!! I mean REALLY stirred them up –
almost like I went after a hornet’s nest “with a stick”
without as much as taking wasp spray along!
At the time, I KNEW I would be in for a “spiritual attack”
or battle if you will…. But my word, I had no idea it’d
be this bad!
For the
past 2-3 months, this has been RELENTLESS….. where I’ll get
mad at something or even minor agitated & internally voice
taking God’s name in vain!!! I mean like 20
times a day even!! On upwards to 40-50!!! I’ve
repeatedly asked for forgiveness. I’ll try singing a hymn
& right smack in the middle of it – such language that I
don’t say out loud, yet it pops into my
heart/soul/mind!!....
I DON’T
normally THINK LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!!
So I’m not doing this “on purpose”!! To this day I
CRINGE when I hear someone else talking like that. Ever since
I was a young child even ~~ I was always highly offended when
someone would talk like that (EX: my uncle who
used it to start every sentence!!) I am offended even
when I’m around someone who says, “oh my God” ~ the “standard
phrase” that’s so wildly accepted worldwide of tossing His
name around lightly for the past 20+ years! I will stop
watching TV shows over this issue alone.
Is it
possible a demon or several demons could be putting these
thoughts in my head?? Is this great oppression because I
stirred up those new agers, and/or because we are at the VERY
THRESHOLD of Jesus calling His Church Home??
I purposely
avoid movies that throw God’s name around like that!
To date,
I’ve gotten rid of different objects that I’ve allowed into
the house, things I thought were innocent at first – even this
morning I trashed a pretty bracelet I’d bought from our niece
who makes them (only because they talk that way in their house
all day long!! And even that Thanksgiving day last
year – she at age 14, used the same lingo just because she
hears it all the time!!) So I’ve gotten rid of
that & a candle I’d ordered online – anything that “may”
have been cursed by wiccans/new age/satanists or those who do
not love God and obey His gospel.
I’ve tried
praise music, reading the Bible, over & over asking the
Lord “for help” ~ and yet this continues!! Makes
me think someone has put a curse on me!! Most
likely it’d be either:
My brother
who is most likely demon-possessed (and takes great pleasure
in talking like this in daily conversation), yet I’ve
purposely not seen him or been in contact with him for nearly
11 years. He still pesters us though, and sometimes sends
vulgar texts.
OR ~~
Long story,
but a couple years back I got so overly eager to “get healed”
from various ailments (ongoing skin infections, allergies,
etc.) that – sigh – I hate to confess this, but I bought
this thing online that to any normal, rational person it
sounds just plain weird – literally had one friend all but
fall off my couch LAUGHING AT ME for believing in this
stuff!! Right now I can’t tell you whether I
believe in it as far as it working/helping or not….. (??)
(satan even heals, right?!) as I didn’t give it a go
for very long…. and I have been getting better, true, but
that’s cuz I’ve changed my diet!! There is no doubt in
my mind (though I haven’t tested & likely never will), yet
I’m sure I am celiac, because the minute I have even a bite of
flour/wheat ~ I get bloated, inflamed colon & break out
& itch like no tomorrow. I was not born celiac, I
truly, personally, firmly believe it came on me from being
overdosed on strong antibiotics over the years!! Messed
up my digestion for life. You can research & find
there are others who believe as I do.
But I do
know this – the instruction booklet came with a ying/yang
symbol, wasn’t happy ‘bout that, took my magic marker &
blotted it out. B-b-but the real bad stuff kicked in
about Dec. or Jan. when this acupressure lady/co-owner of this
sent out an email touting about how she was into this “angel”
book & wanted to teach others to be a “life coach” ….. I
looked up info on the book & teacher & it was nothing
but pure NEW
AGE GARBAGE!!!!!!
Yes, it
literally took that long for that “LIGHT BULB” to come on for
me!!
At that
point, I wrote the couple & asked them to please remove my
testimony of their products – how they were working for me, as
I’d gone overboard in endorsing it & no longer believed in
it. I also took the opportunity to say God is NOT IN
EVERYBODY but only those who repent & believe in His Son,
(per Acts 20:21, I told them) & that Jesus was THEEE ONLY
WAY TO HEAVEN!!!! Period!! I ended by saying I
thought this way of healing was “a bunch of hooey”…..
God knows
my heart & I did what I felt I needed (or wanted) to do to
please the Lord & that was to DISASSOCIATE myself with
it!! Honestly I was not thinking straight at the
time or I would not have aligned myself with something that
was so new age! So yes, I’m pleading that I did it
innocently, or at least without thinking clearly. I’m
satisfied in knowing the Lord knows my heart. I’ve told
Him I will not make “health” my god!! Whether I’m well
and energetic or whether I’m sick, yet will I praise Him!
Anyway,
when I wrote them, even then I knew I was “stirring up a huge
hornet’s nest”!!! But like I say, I HAD NOOOOO
IDEA IT’D BE THIS BAD!!!!
BTW, I have
since THROWN AWAY ALL THAT NONSENSE GARBAGE!!!! Wanted
it out of my house, out of my life, and any demon affiliation
that came with it, I wanted out of here as well.
Per ~ I
think it’s Corinthians, I’ll have to look it up, I’m
constantly “casting down every thought that exalts itself
against the knowledge of God and bringing every thought into
captivity into the obedience of Jesus Christ”!! BUT OH
MY WORD!!! After 2-3 months of living this way, I
am PLUM EXHAUSTED!!!!
There are
some days I even begin seriously doubting I’m even a real
Christian – or I wouldn’t have such garbage in my heart, I
tell myself! Yet my one good friend (the ex new ager)
says you know that is not coming from inside of you! But
you know who IS behind it!!
I must add
that I “am” getting better…. Every time such thoughts enter my
mind, I say (out loud if necessary!) that God’s last name is
not damn! BUT He WILL damn satan & all his
followers!!
Anyway,
while surfing one day I saw on a prophecy board that someone
else had mentioned a “paradigm shift” these past few
months. Could that seriously be what’s happened?
My own take
is that satan cannot “READ” our thoughts, ….. HOWEVER, he can
PUT thoughts into our heads. If you have any comments
you’d like to share regarding this, I welcome them. I
especially welcome the ones that are Biblically backed.
Meanwhile,
I’m trying to stay close to the Lord, I listen to or read His
Word, and I’m trying to do Ephesians 2 ~ speaking to myself in
psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, and making melody in my
heart to the Lord!
It just
seems that a “spirit of agitation” has fallen over this whole
universe right now! We even took a mini-trip a week ago
to kind of clear our heads, and even there at the resort town,
(where you’re SUPPOSED to be relaxed, right?!)
anyway, people were still agitated there, too. Like
everyone’s in a great big HURRY – to go to their jobs, to get
off from their jobs & go home, HURRY to go on vacation so
they can relax or have a good time, then HURRY back to their
lives on the job (or school). The Bible sure has the
“going to & fro” part down pat!!
Everyone,
no matter the age, is on the proverbial rat race
treadmill! School age children are PUSHED beyond what
they should be to excel in everything from academics (with
MOUNTAINS of homework every stinking night!) to sports –
to give it all they’ve got which inconveniences the whole
family having to travel with them to get them to out of town
soccer, or give up Sunday morning worship because there’s a
game that day.
Most,
except for a few blessed homeschoolers, are literally robbed
of their childhood and associated happy memories of blissfully
playing, daydreaming, making up their own games, without
constantly being constrained by tight schedules.
Even
“sweet” old ladies behind me at the restaurant the other day
didn’t want to “wait their turn” but because I was taking a
couple extra seconds too long, they stood there pacing the
floor.
I do have
to tell you this funny part though to lighten things up a
bit. Speaking of the Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs
– and going hand in hand with the spirit of agitation…. Well I
have never stepped foot in a Church of Christ my whole life
(yet have a few friends & relatives who are COC).
I’d say just as an outsider from what I’ve read about what
they believe, personally I’d likely agree with about 94-95% of
it. But since they teach AGAINST the pre-trib rapture, that
right there would be a huge turnoff for me; there are other
reasons as well I will not go that direction.
At any
rate, so I read online (and this was supposedly for real) that
these sweet little COC ladies had gathered at their church on
a week day to mark in the hymnbooks – which songs were
considered
·
Psalms
·
Which were
considered hymns
·
And which
should be considered spiritual songs
Well, hahah
– yes, as you might possibly guess – they actually ended up a
BIG ARGUMENT over that even!!! And some left in quite a
huff, not even talking to each other again! It’s so
beyond silly – that it’s just plain SAD!!!!
Unfortunately though, it provides us with a good laugh.
Such is our
crazy, crazy world!!!
Anyway,
thanks for listening and most of all for praying. Like
I’ve said, I am doing some better with this issue yet I find
it’s a constant battle and I must wear my spiritual armor
every single day. We’re the ones the enemy is looking to
devour, not the world -- because he already owns them.
May the
Lord Jesus call us Home soon!! With the world in such
disarray, I believe He will. Amen!
***