Hi Jane.  My heart truly goes out to you.  I too have lived a life of pain for the last several years.  Sometimes it is constant, and other times I get a small break.  I know how it clouds your mind and makes you feel so isolated.  I want to say something to you ...

Please know that Jesus will not allow anything that is not going to produce good in you.  Please know that He will not leave you nor forsake you, and it is at this time when you feel isolated and paralyzed that He is truly carrying you.  Rest in Him and don't worry.  Know that He will have your brothers and sisters praying for you and will ensure that you do not stumble.  He is taking care of business as you suffer, I promise.

Also, because you know that all things work together for good for you, then praise Him during this pain.  Praise Him because you can trust Him and know that this pain will bring more of His fruit in your life.  Call out to Him and know that He is there, and He will strengthen you and give you exactly what you need to get through.  You can do all things through His strength.  He told us this, because He knew there would be times when we felt we could not go on.

I can honestly say that there have been times when my pain was not as bad, and I missed it because of the closeness it gives me to my Comforter.  I miss the crying out to Him and relying on Him during times when it is difficult to care for myself.  It is truly at those times that I feel Him more than ever, even when I can't seem to find the words to pray or I just feel so bad I can't pray.  I have to remember His words and promises, and when I do, I can truly rest.

I am praying for you my sister Jane.  The Lord will get you through.  Surrender to Him, His plans, and His allowances in your life.  They are perfect.  And because they are perfect, and because we know that He is in charge, we can praise Him during the worst of times.

And finally, I leave you with a few scriptures that have been helpful to me...

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.  Hebrews 12:3 (in context Hebrews 12:1-4)

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy... Jude 1:24 (in context Jude 1:24-25)

Much love to you my sister.

Stacy from Texas