Watcher Woman and Patti C
 
I am so grateful for your encouraging words and I appreciate you both very much! You know that quip that goes "I have been rich and I have been poor and rich is better..."? Well I feel like I can say I have been involved in negative exchanges and positive and positive is way better!
 
Thank you Watcher Woman, it means tons!
 
I should clarify Patti, the ranch I worked was 54 acres and the few animals it had were some boarded horses that others were responsible for and the occasional time that the neighbor's cows got through a fence but my responsibilities were mostly maintenance of the property including lots of mowing, watering, weeding, fence upkeep and pool and pond and well maintenance and trees etc. a total of 9 years or so. As I referred to it mostly "yard work" but nevertheless we still have a lot in common, I think. I'm so glad we could get past our initial bumps to find our similarities and fellowship.
 
I just had a lengthy conversation with my wife and sister in law long distance on the phone (wife visiting there this week) about the same dilemma of my talents seeming to be not used to their potential. How every time I thought there was an opportunity to do something and I put it before God to make sure that I was not doing it on my own without His leading, it always fizzled into nothing until I end up wondering if I blew it or what...
 
I think of Moses and how he went from wanting to be the "deliverer" to running away and being just a shepherd for 40 years. Then God calling to him from the burning bush and that strange part about how when God saw that Moses turned aside and looked at the bush with interest then God called to him.
 
Exodus 3:
 1.  Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.
 2.  And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.
 3.  And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.
 4.  And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I.
 
It makes you wonder what would have happened had Moses not shown that initial interest or whatever. Reminds me of that time in the New Testament when Jesus was walking on the water and would have passed the disciples in the boat but they called out to Him and so he stopped.
 
Matthew 6:
 47.  And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land.
 48.  And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them.
 49.  But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out:
 50.  For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
 51.  And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.
 
It is hard to figure just how much we ourselves contribute to our destiny and how much is up to God.
 
My biggest fear is that He Will say to me at the judgment that I didn't use my talents, all because I was overly afraid of going ahead of Him. When I was playing in my secular rock band it was all my own way so when I left that I was determined to not get involved in anything that was not of Him. So I ended up doing not much. Sometimes wondering if the burning bush was back there a ways but I failed to "turn aside" and lost the chance. If Moses would have kept on going would God have burned another bush in Moses' path further on, or would that have been it and he blew it?
 
One other hugely contributing factor in all this has been my constant expectancy that the rapture was next Tuesday anyway so no need to make long term plans... Anyone else relate? I actually blew a once in a lifetime opportunity because of this very thing. It was back in 1987 and due to teaching on the Great Pyramid I was convinced that the rapture was just days away from this night when I attended a concert by Jeff Fenholdt at a local church. He asked me afterward as we talked if I wrote music and that he wanted to put together a "rock opera" based on Isaiah 53 "Who hath believed our report" and foolishly, I said no even though I did have something I had written on exactly that! Ouch! But that is how convinced I was that the rapture was about to happen so I didn't even tell him about my songs that I was working on for just such a project.
 
Ooops!
 
Anyway I appreciate you both and all the Doves!