You're so welcome Bett, and yes, I did stay and still am in one piece right now and forever more. Praise be to Jesus our Lord!!
I have a question for you to ponder... I have been going through something else totally unrelated to my past relationship I spoke of, but it does have to do with another relationship. It has caused me a great deal of physical pain through depression and stress - pain that is crippling! Through this, I was faced with a few things that once I admitted and confessed them, I was set free!
Just today, as I have other times, I told the Lord that I could no longer live this way. My pain was excruciating; I was miserable, unable to function, and I am alone 70% of the time. I really felt like He had abandoned me; however, I told Him I would never curse Him and would never turn away from Him. I continue to worship and praise Him regardless.
Well, just today, after seeking Him in prayer, the Lord gave me revelation in a big way. Immediately afterwards, I felt an unimaginable relief emotionally and physically. I feel like a new person! The revelation has to do with two very important things that can literally keep us in bondage and keep us out of Heaven, and they are...
Do you have an idol? Do you have anything, including a man, child, job, hobby, etc., that is or has been exalted above the Most High? If so, God will give you over to the idol you so desire, and you will have to be taught the hard way, in some way, that you cannot exalt anything over Jesus. Remember, if you are His child, He will do whatever He must do in this temporary time on the earth to get you to Heaven with Him for all of eternity - that is true love!
Are you living in total forgiveness? Is there anyone, no matter how minor, whom you have not yet forgiven? Have you completely forgiven this man who is stalking you, even with constant reminders of his evil plans for you? Think of this statement that a good friend of mine said... There is no one who has ever sinned against you as much as you have sinned against God. You must forgive everyone for everything, because He has forgiven you for everything. Search your heart and make sure. I did, and it is worth it! He will show you, as He must stay true to His own word.
Bett, I am not trying to say either of these issues are true for you, because that I don't know. However, I can so relate to how you feel that I felt lead by the Lord to share this with you. You know, my experience today just may be something that the Lord has for you too; however, only He can confirm that with you.
I will be praying for you, because I understand the desperation in your voice (writing). Don't give up! Use this time to focus on yourself and make sure that you are 100% living obediently to Jesus. You never know what He might show you. Just this day, He revealed something so immense to me, and it all started with me facing my idol from the past (which in my case was a man!), the resulting consequences, and the underlying unforgiveness that I had no right to harbor (and I didn't even realize that I was!). This has set me free!! He is faithful that way!!
Much love to you sister,