Hi
John and all Doves,
I've only posted a handful of times - I am
one of you, watching and waiting. My husband
is a contractor in Afghanistan. It's a long
story, but he is there by choice, not by
necessity. He is in love with the salary.
If he is saved, he will be saved by "the
skin of his teeth" if you have ever heard that
expression. My heart grieves for him.
He claims to have had a salvation experience
complete with "walking the aisle" in a church, and
in an emotional response to a visiting
evangelist. However as far as I can detect,
I see no fruit, no evidence, no hunger, no
curiosity about things of the Lord or of the Word.
He's still in love with planning his future and
fulfilling his Earthly dreams. It is
possible he may have had that salvation
experience, but had no follow up, no discipleship,
and that seed was "snatched away." Or it was not a
true conversion experience. I was not there
when he claims this happened in the early 2000's.
We
have been married only 2 1/2 years, and almost the
entire time he has been in Afghanistan. I
have given him every resource possible to be at
his disposal, but as far as I know he has no
interest in picking up the Bible, any of the
literature, books, pamphlets, tracts, DVDs
etc. I can speak to him of spiritual things,
but I'm the one who has done all the speaking, and
he listens with no interruption or
irritation, and then changes the subject. I have the
idea that what he hears when I speak of the Lord
or of spiritual things is kind of like what
Charlie Brown hears when the teacher is talking
(waaa wa haba whhas.....) He has what he needs to
know how to be saved, that is for sure.
The
Lord has put it on my heart about 1 1/2 months ago
that the time for my "talking" to him about the
Lord is over. All the words have been said
that can be said, and very, very clearly, and in
love. I have been clearly commanded to shut my
mouth and let him observe my living out my faith
by a godly example and a quiet and gentle spirit.
But I am not the Holy Spirit, and I cannot
convict him, I cannot soften his heart, I cannot
bring him to his knees; I cannot make him do
anything. He works 7 days a week, 12 hours a
day, so he has very little time to think, which I
think is just fine for him because I believe it is
easier for him to stay in a para-military work
environment and just do what he is told which
leaves little time to work on your emotional
problems (i.e. our marriage is pretty bad,
childhood abuse issues) besides the eternal
destiny question. This is more
grievous to me than the state of our
marriage or even that our marriage is so broken
and we are always apart. I had to lower my
expectations of what I wanted or needed from him
to 0% and that was hard. Just like none of
"deserve" anything including salvation, I had to
let all my expectations of him go too, and only
look to the Lord to meet all of my emotional,
mental and spiritual needs. It has
been absolutely heartbreaking to me.
So
a while ago, I had to "give him up" to the
Lord. What I mean by that is I finally
realized that I had to stop trying to control him
and his response and let it go - and wait on the
Holy Spirit. No one wants to think of their
own spouse not only missing the rapture, but
possibly being saved as one of the elect, but then
being deceived and falling away, or taking the
mark of the beast and going to Hell. So I
pray every day, several times a day, for the
Lord to have mercy on him, for the Holy Spirit
to pierce his heart, and to bring him to his
knees, whatever it takes. How the Lord
will accomplish that, I have no idea. After
the rapture, who knows how it will be for the
people who missed it, or get saved after the door
is shut, and how they will survive and live or
die. So I stop trying to figure it out and
try to leave it in the Lord's most capable
hands. It was very, very hard for me to
"give him up" to the Lord, but I have made peace
with it now.
Now here's
where my request comes in. Does anyone
have ideas of what I can leave for him about
what to do if you are "left behind" (besides
the Left Behind Series!) My husband is
not a great communicator. He is not a
good reader and hates reading, but he is very
audio-visual. If it is a book, it needs
to be short, like a booklet or a
pamphlet. Or maybe a teaching in several
parts, that I can print out and leave for him.
It may be possible that the power grid
may come down here in the U.S. if there was an
EMP pulse detonated or something of that
nature, so we can't be sure that any
electronics would work. I think that
after the rapture when the SHTF, he will try
to come back to look for me or find me.
His name is Mark. BTW, if any Doves
feel they have it in their gifting or in
their hearts to remember him in prayer, I
would be so grateful.
So, Does anyone have any ideas
about what I can leave for him?
Something concise, to-the-point, not overly
theological, basically survival-oriented on
how to be saved, and then surviving or
dying as a martyr in the Great Tribulation.
Knowing him, and that he is an ex-military
man, I imagine he will more than likely die in
a gun fight against a NWO enemy
militant! I am positive I am not the
only Dove who has had this same concern and
request. I pray your ideas will help
lots of other Doves with the same concerns.
I will greatly appreciate any ideas or
responses.
Thanks Everyone!
Love,
Lynn