Hi John and all Doves,
I've only posted a handful of times - I am one of you, watching and waiting. My husband is a contractor in Afghanistan. It's a long story, but he is there by choice, not by necessity. He is in love with the salary. If he is saved, he will be saved by "the skin of his teeth" if you have ever heard that expression. My heart grieves for him. He claims to have had a salvation experience complete with "walking the aisle" in a church, and in an emotional response to a visiting evangelist. However as far as I can detect, I see no fruit, no evidence, no hunger, no curiosity about things of the Lord or of the Word. He's still in love with planning his future and fulfilling his Earthly dreams. It is possible he may have had that salvation experience, but had no follow up, no discipleship, and that seed was "snatched away." Or it was not a true conversion experience. I was not there when he claims this happened in the early 2000's.
We have been married only 2 1/2 years, and almost the entire time he has been in Afghanistan. I have given him every resource possible to be at his disposal, but as far as I know he has no interest in picking up the Bible, any of the literature, books, pamphlets, tracts, DVDs etc. I can speak to him of spiritual things, but I'm the one who has done all the speaking, and he listens with no interruption or irritation, and then changes the subject. I have the idea that what he hears when I speak of the Lord or of spiritual things is kind of like what Charlie Brown hears when the teacher is talking (waaa wa haba whhas.....) He has what he needs to know how to be saved, that is for sure.
The Lord has put it on my heart about 1 1/2 months ago that the time for my "talking" to him about the Lord is over. All the words have been said that can be said, and very, very clearly, and in love. I have been clearly commanded to shut my mouth and let him observe my living out my faith by a godly example and a quiet and gentle spirit. But I am not the Holy Spirit, and I cannot convict him, I cannot soften his heart, I cannot bring him to his knees; I cannot make him do anything. He works 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, so he has very little time to think, which I think is just fine for him because I believe it is easier for him to stay in a para-military work environment and just do what he is told which leaves little time to work on your emotional problems (i.e. our marriage is pretty bad, childhood abuse issues) besides the eternal destiny question. This is more grievous to me than the state of our marriage or even that our marriage is so broken and we are always apart. I had to lower my expectations of what I wanted or needed from him to 0% and that was hard. Just like none of "deserve" anything including salvation, I had to let all my expectations of him go too, and only look to the Lord to meet all of my emotional, mental and spiritual needs. It has been absolutely heartbreaking to me.
So a while ago, I had to "give him up" to the Lord. What I mean by that is I finally realized that I had to stop trying to control him and his response and let it go - and wait on the Holy Spirit. No one wants to think of their own spouse not only missing the rapture, but possibly being saved as one of the elect, but then being deceived and falling away, or taking the mark of the beast and going to Hell. So I pray every day, several times a day, for the Lord to have mercy on him, for the Holy Spirit to pierce his heart, and to bring him to his knees, whatever it takes. How the Lord will accomplish that, I have no idea. After the rapture, who knows how it will be for the people who missed it, or get saved after the door is shut, and how they will survive and live or die. So I stop trying to figure it out and try to leave it in the Lord's most capable hands. It was very, very hard for me to "give him up" to the Lord, but I have made peace with it now.
Now here's where my request comes in. Does anyone have ideas of what I can leave for him about what to do if you are "left behind" (besides the Left Behind Series!) My husband is not a great communicator. He is not a good reader and hates reading, but he is very audio-visual. If it is a book, it needs to be short, like a booklet or a pamphlet. Or maybe a teaching in several parts, that I can print out and leave for him. It may be possible that the power grid may come down here in the U.S. if there was an EMP pulse detonated or something of that nature, so we can't be sure that any electronics would work. I think that after the rapture when the SHTF, he will try to come back to look for me or find me. His name is Mark. BTW, if any Doves feel they have it in their gifting or in their hearts to remember him in prayer, I would be so grateful.
So, Does anyone have any ideas about what I can leave for him? Something concise, to-the-point, not overly theological, basically survival-oriented on how to be saved, and then surviving or dying as a martyr in the Great Tribulation. Knowing him, and that he is an ex-military man, I imagine he will more than likely die in a gun fight against a NWO enemy militant! I am positive I am not the only Dove who has had this same concern and request. I pray your ideas will help lots of other Doves with the same concerns. I will greatly appreciate any ideas or responses.