Every day I read through the Doves and truly there some great souls writing showing work of the Holy Spirit. At the same time I see the writings of others that demonstrate that they lack spiritual discernment. Spiritual discernment is much to be desired but it is only given by the Holy Spirit. Certainly I do not claim to be an authority on spiritual gifts but perhaps I might shed some light on the subject. I will make this quite brief because most won’t read it otherwise, and being educated as a scientist my words tend to be short and choppy.
     Being saved at an early age it was normal to follow the church and I never had any serious doubts about Christ. I took my place along with the rest of the people and found my self a Sunday School Superintendent. The church was not doing well. The pastor said it was my baby now don’t bother him with it. I struggled with it for a time and could see that I was not making any progress. It seemed prayer didn’t help. I called on the people in the town and they needed help and they knew it but no move of the spirit. There is a lot at stake, people’s destiny and I knew it. I felt a heavy responsibility, I needed help. In desperation I finally began asking the Lord if anything in my life was standing in the way. Of course I knew of David’s cry to the Lord so I thought perhaps that would be a good place to start. So I made Psalms 139:23-24 my heart felt prayer. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. I promised the Lord that if he would show me any thing I would clean it up.
     I had always been very careful in my walk with the Lord and couldn’t see much difference from my life and the other professed Christians. I had graduated from a Christian college and I couldn’t really think of anything to be ashamed of. Actually I thought I was a pretty good Christian and I had that reputation. However, the Lord knew me better than I did. And He started talking plainly to me. Have you ever made restitution, you know Marv was insulted at what you said (in high school) and He continued and listed five incidents. It took a while to locate the people but I finally finished my assignments.
     I wondered what the Lord would do next. A few months later on a Sunday night In prayer I told the Lord that I have done all that You told me to do, now what. I had a couple of hobbies. I liked Amateur radio and I loved my tool box as I thought could fix about any thing on a tractor or car. About that time the Devil said, "You do that and you will have to go preach and you will never have a Ham radio and you will never have a chance to use your tools again. So I picked up my tool box and my collection of electronic stuff and placed them on the altar and said "so be it". Then the Lord said, "will you die for me?" I said, "yes." Then the Lord said, "then do it". There was a barrier between life and death and I was on one side of it. All the implications of what was transpiring became apparent to me at that time. I moved over to the Lords side and it was done. I now was beginning to know what is meant by wrestling with the Lord. That was the end of that prayer and I had a feeling of being let down and went to bed.
     About at two o’clock in the morning The Lord woke me up with the blessing. The glory of the Lord was there. The blessings rolled over and over until I could hardly breathe. Nothing that we can conceive compares to the blessings of the Lord. Nothing is as soul satisfying giving the Word to the people. Some people seek a sign, I hadn’t thought of that but when I arrived at the hospital the next morning as I entered the door a nurse saw me and screamed and took off on the run. Then I began to hear people talking about me, what happened to Paul. Yes I could see it too in the mirror, my skin was glowing. The glow faded out over about a month.
     Now about Christian discernment. Some writings come across my desk and I immediately know it is of the Lord others I know immediately it is not of the Lord. Most others are not so important and we will have to think about it. Some things are important in our understanding and our enlightenment and when the Spirit sends them we should be listening. Seek the spirit, come close to the Lord lean not unto your own understanding.
     Now about the ham radio, the Lord sent along a man to help me get the license an I have been a ham for well over fifty years and about the tool box, in my old age He had given me a nice machine shop to putter in. My experience with the Lord shows what a kind and considerate and personal loving Savior He is. People really need to get to know Him. Be obedient, do what He tells you to do, don’t procrastinate, don’t question His wisdom just trust Him as He loves us far beyond human understanding.
     By the way, my visions usually happen when I am wide awake as if the Lord was in on the conversations from the beginning. Don’t worry about the date of the rapture, it will happen when Lord is ready and it will be soon. But He is not willing that any should perish, be patient and working. He may be waiting for you for a specific person for you to bring into the kingdom.
     Following a stroke writing is difficult so I seldom write. Also at my age it I have to rely a lot on the Lord. My next birthday brings it to ninety. I expect to see the Lord before that. Praise the Lord He is coming soon.
     Special thanks to John for the Doves and Jim. This ministry is a load to carry and it is not easy.
Paul