Dear Doves and especially Leigh,
Living with difficult people, especially in our own families can be very painful. There are, however, steps we can take that keep us from being consumed by the choices of other people.It sounds, Leigh, as if you have taken some of those steps in approaching your daughter in law to ask if you have offended her in some way. She has chosen not to respond to you in a direct and honest manner of solution oriented communication. She has chosen instead to cause you pain from her own unresolved issues that she brought to the marriage. You cannot resolve her baggage but you can take some steps to protect yourself and make sure that you are physically, spiritually and emotionally able to stand in these last days. The last days bring their own barrage of satanic attacks in our most vulnerable places because he knows very little time remains to attack the Lord's beloved Bride.
Strengthening the physical body...some choices that affect us emotionally are gluten sensitivity, defeciencies in Omega 3 (fish oil), and B12 defeciences brought on as we age or specifically by certain prescribed medications (such as Metformin for diabetic control). Gluten sensitivity alone can cause us to feel incapable of dealing with life. By staying away from wheat, barley and their derivatives, and by adding 6mg of a good quality fish oil, or krill oil, depression can be stopped in its tracks. Sublingual B12 also is especially effective in helping us cope. We have to treat food as seriously as a prescription and eat as much as we can just as God made it. If it has a long list of ingredients on a label, see if you can avoid it and eat fruits, veggies, and protein as God made it. Cooked and canned meat are ok.
Coping emotionally with others who cause us pain can be lessened and eliminated by understanding that their behavior is their problem. An entire series of books on "Boundaries" has been exceptionally helpful in freeing people from being held captive to those who do not have their best interests at heart. The authors, Townsend and Cloud, have godly wisdom that is very healing. It is possible to move from being a victim in dealings with such people to simply viewing their behavior as an unaffected observer. In your instance, a question that seems reasonable is to ask your son's role in his wife's choices that affect him and his children.
Spiritually and emotionally, what sort of support groups and counseling are available in Bible based churches in your area? Is individual counseling available with a qualified person? It would be very helpful to have weekly support in your struggle from someone whose focus is to help you cope in a Christian setting.
It seems as if the fiery darts aimed at us by an enemy who has studied us over a lifetime and knows where we are vulnerable are flying with an intensity and hatred reserved for the enemy of our souls and the enemy of our God. Keep our focus on your face, Jesus, and shield us all with the power of your blood as the battle rages until we see you face to face. Keep us praying for one another, Lord, and have the victory and the credit in our lives.
Because He First Loved Us,