A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St.  Peter,
who looks him up in his Big Book.  Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.

A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest.  He announces himself to St. Peter.  Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says,
"Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."

The preacher is astonished and replies,
"But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe.
Surely I rate higher than a cabby."

St. Peter responded matter-of-factly:
"Here we are interested in results.  When you preached, people slept.
When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."

~~~~~~

An 8 year old girl goes to her dad who is working in the yard and asks,
"Daddy, what's sex"?

The father is surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He tells her about the birds and the bees; the egg and the sperm; and the male and female.  When he has finished explaining, the little girl is looking at him with her mouth
opened, so the father asks her, "why did you ask this question"?

She said "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs".