I know where your coming from. It seems the more we all learn about the "enemy" and the more we are preparing constantly for the Rapture, we are becoming dead to this world and we can also "see" the signs...of choices, its happening all around us.
I sometimes think, come on lets get on with it and get quite impatient, but alas! we have to just keep putting one foot infront of the other, day by day. When Jim Bramlett mentioned in June that there was something up there but what is it? Well, if Nibiru is on it's way to earth, we now know we are near to the rapture since, I cannot imagine "Wormwood" falling on His Bride, His Church and so we will have to earn those crowns for waiting....but I agree it is very hard, since we have made our choices and now live for and in Jesus our King of Kings and Lord of Lords! What a future we have!
Keep heart and know you are not alone, edwina.