Oh I am crying reading your letter. Believe me I know how you feel, I own six dogs and love them so much. I also have six kids and well dogs and kids go together.
I just turned 50 and my husband bought me two English Bulldogs. I wanted them since, well forever. I raised my kids, still raising some so we could not really get them before. Now I have Lulu and Boomer ( and Bailey, Annie, Lizzie and Millie ) and I just smile thinking of them
Well I don't believe they have souls, I do believe God loved them enough to make a place for them, maybe just for the joy of having them romp with us in heaven.
In time your heart will heal, but for now, your love for your little dog hurts. Thats what love does sometimes.
I will pray for you, okay.
Humbly in Christ, Mary