DIRTY DIAPERS:
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AFTER I WAS SAVED!
I really enjoy listening to my Pastor. I enjoy him so much that it often puts
goose bumps along my spine. You see, we both run our lives by listening to
guidance from the Holy Spirit. The fascinating thing is that we often hear
the same thing. Just last week I had just written an article on how Christians
should not fear the natural disasters, plagues and wars that have dominated
our television screens over the last few months but should look up because our
redemption draws near. I finished that article on Saturday and Pastor Mike
preached on Luke 21:28 on Sunday. This is but one example. To both of us
former lost and hell bound sinners, Jesus Christ is not a game to us nor is
playing church on Sundays. He is what it is all about, bottom line, end of
story. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are as real to us as anything that we
experience on a daily basis; actually, probably more so.
Of late I have been involved in the bringing to salvation of a man who knew
nothing of Christ or Christians. He is making great strides but he often
stumbles and messes up. This experience has forced me to look back upon my
early days as a Believer. Actually, I did not want to do it but the Holy
Spirit told me to do it. I resisted but eventually gave in. I would rather
talk of my testimony as attached above. I came to the Lord in 1988 after
having a personal revelation of Jesus Christ; how my life changed forever and
noticeably. Right? Not! And how did I get the prodding from the Holy Spirit to
revaluate my salvation experience? Pastor Mike, not aware of my feelings,
preached the last several Sundays about what he called "dirty diapers". How a
newborn Christian often messes up (dirty diapers) and needs guidance and
support and discipleship. How could he know that was what I was wresting with
at the time? The Holy Spirit, as I said, works powerfully through both of us.
As you will see, I have not always listened. In fact I first met Pastor Mike
and his wife Becky in 1992 when we moved here to Flagstaff. We even had his
Wednesday night Bible Studies in our home for a couple of years but we did not
join his Church until 2002. God had put him in my path from the beginning but
I ignored the voice. I am still a hard headed Jew in many respects. Sue me!
But I am getting ahead of myself.
As you can read from the attached testimony, I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ
in October of 1988 on my knees in the lobby of my office building with Philip
and Chuck Lassen at my side. With tears in my eyes, I had acknowledged Christ
as my Lord and Savior. After all, I had seen Him (see testimony) and I had
told Philip and Chuck that if I saw the "burning bush" I would believe and I
did. Craig, our boss, gave me a Bible and Philip baptized me in his swimming
pool. He held me under for what seemed like hours. I thrashed around and
finally was brought back to the surface. I asked him why he had kept me under
so long. He told me that there was a lot of sin to wash off. He was correct
but it actually came off more slowly. I continued to have a lot of "dirty
diapers".
I was living with a woman at the time. Did I move out and stop my sin of
fornication? No. Did I even tell her of my life altering experience? Not until
one day she found my new Bible way up on a bookshelf and she said, are you one
of them? I mumbled and took my Bible to the office. Did I read my Bible? No.
Did I tell my sister or my kids or my Jewish friends or my ex? No! I was
ashamed (Romans 10:11). I was also fearful that they would reject me which
they eventually did when I told them. My health was deteriorating (MS) also
and I was fearful that my girlfriend would abandon me and I would be alone and
helpless, even though she had told me earlier that if I ended up in the
hospital or a wheelchair she would not take care of me. I now had Jesus in my
heart but I still did not trust him completely to protect me from all my
adversities.
In hindsight, what I needed was more discipling. Philip got me saved and then
left me to the wolves (Satan). I guess he tried. He often asked me if I read
my Bible and I said no. He invited me the Christmas pageant at Phoenix First
Assembly where he went that Christmas of 1988 but I refused. What would my
girlfriend say? I still talked everyday with Paula. She was beautiful and
sweet. I tried to get her to go out with me. I had been trying that for over a
year but she wisely had refused because I was not a Believer and was living in
sin among other faults. Well, now I was a Believer. So? But you are still
living in sin she had said. Well, I can have her at night and you during the
day, I had told her. She recoiled. Dirty diapers. I asked her if we could have
a Bible Study in her house. She said no. The nerve of that pretty woman. In a
way she was discipling me. I often asked her questions about hell and heaven
and stuff. She always answered politely and Biblically even though my advances
were not always pure. I stunk from those dirty diapers but she smiled and
talked to me in spite of the stench.
I continued to live with my "girlfriend" for over a year longer. Paula and I
grew closer at work and I wondered if there was any chance of us ever being
together. I was afraid of being alone and feared leaving the woman at home and
not getting Paula. Christmas of 1989, when my boys came to visit, I took them
to see Paula at her house. My oldest son Joshua had worked at our company over
the summer and he knew and liked Paula. I bought her a Christmas basket which
she still has and displays every Christmas. I went to the office Christmas
party that year again with my "girlfriend". Paula went with her mother who was
living with her. Her sweet mother had helped pray me into the kingdom and now
was praying for me and Paula. Yeah right. Fat chance. Would God come into my
life and save me from my debauchery and then also give me the most beautiful,
sweet, God fearing woman? I did not deserve such unmerited grace, especially
with such continuing dirty diapers.
The bottom line is that during this period of newborn existence, God could not
work in my life. I had not drawn closer to him. I needed discipleship and
instruction but God all along had a plan. He had chosen me before the creation
of the world. He knew that I needed a strong helpmate to keep me on the
straight and narrow and that was Paula-my beshert-Hebrew for soul mate. In
January of 1990, Paula and I were talking one day at work (what else was new)
and she told me to get rid of a novel, "The Other World", that I had written
(mentioned in my testimony) over ten years ago because it was demonic. She
knew because I had given it to her to read earlier and she had quickly
returned it with a white ashen face. I talked to her about hell and Satan and
demons. I told her I did not believe in them. Well that night I had a dream?
I was holding the book and had said 'if there are any demons in this book let
them come out'. Well, I was bombarded by flying black demons that nearly
suffocated me. I stopped them by calling out rhe name Of Jesus Christ and they
disappeared. I burned the book the next day. Once again the Holy Sprit had
shown me what I needed to know.
A couple of weeks later, I was sitting at dinner with my "girlfriend" and out
of nowhere I heard myself saying that I needed to move out and that it was
over between us. I think that she was relieved. I was sickly and she really
did not want to be with me anymore anyway. At the same time, I found out
later, Paula, was at the mountain at Phoenix First Assembly giving me back to
God. She had told Him that she cared for me but it was too painful and that He
should find someone else to take care of me. The minute that she had given me
back to God I had broken up with the woman. Philip and Chuck helped me move
out into an apartment (I wanted to wait to the end of the month because I had
paid rent for the entire month-sue me!). Paula and I went on our first date
the end of January 1990. We went to dinner and then to a Friday night service
at Jewish Voice. We got engaged March 2 and married March 30, 1990.
We had known each other for three years at work and were already close
friends. We began attending Calvary Church of the Valley which had a Jewish
Pastor and the largest group of Jewish believers in the Valley. He wanted to
counsel us for a few months. I said, 'forget about it'. We were ready to get
married immediately and nothing would stop us not even my dirty diapers. Paula
had been secretary to an associate pastor of Tommy Barnett at Phoenix First
Assembly so she asked him and he married us in front of the fountains at PFA
after a couple of counseling sessions.
All of this is to show what Pastor Mike was saying. I had accepted Christ into
my heart in October of 1988 but I had not changed my behavior at all. Nobody
(but Paula) could see any change in me. I still lived in sin, drank, cussed,
watched porno, blasphemed. I did not tell my friends or family. God could not
use me. When I finally moved out, God could begin to work. First he gave me
the most beautiful, compassionate, God fearing woman on the face of the earth.
She married me in spite of my dirty diapers and my sagging health. She
discipled me. We prayed and read the Bible together. I eventually told my
sister who has not spoken to me much since, my ex who kept my kids from me, my
kids who think I am a weirdo who merely converted to marry Paula.. Wrong!
My health has faltered. I have only been able to work for only three of our
15+ year marriage. It has been at times a nightmare. We lost our house in
Phoenix and our car went down but God has always been there for us. The three
of us, Paula and Christ and I have weathered every storm. Paula had to go back
to work and we switched roles. I cook and do the dishes. I have spent months
reading my Bible and praying. The Holy Spirit gave me a prayer language with
which to communicate more effectively with Him. I have written two end times'
Messianic novels under the urging and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I have
written over 100 letters to the Editor of the local liberal. New age,
newspaper defending God and country. God had a plan for me all along. It just
took a while to be evident because of my "dirty diapers".
When we first came to Flagstaff in 1992, I became embroiled in a local school
issue about teaching new age curriculum in the schools. When I went to the
meeting, the man leading the discussion was an Assistant Superintendent of
Flagstaff Unified School District and a former student of mine over ten years
earlier at the University of Arizona. When he heard me speak about God and new
age heresy, he had said,"Dr.Yulish what happened to you!" I had become a new
person, finally, praise God. And then a couple of years later shortly after I
had given my testimony to our Church body, a man came up to me and told me
that when he had heard my testimony he had told it to a friend who had also
been at the Univ. of Arizona many years ago. It turned out that his friend was
Jewish and had come into my office and told me about finding Jesus and I had
chewed him out. His friend was flabbergasted that I had also accepted Christ.
No need for diapers anymore.
About 12 years ago, God also put Don Garrett into my life. He loved the Jewish
people and Israel and we became best friends and even had a Messianic
Fellowship for over ten years. Don and I have eaten lunch at Subway every
Thursday for all these years and he has discipled me all of this time.
Finally, a few years ago, the Holy Spirit told me to go back to Pastor Mike
and we did. It wasn't easy to leave Don and Marge after all these years but
God told us to do so. Well, Don and Marge have joined us at Lamb of God Bible
Church. God had a plan all along
In closing, while I could go on forever, remember that new believers often
have dirty diapers and need to be discipled and led. Don't just win them to
the Lord and forget about them. It took me a long time for me to get my act
together and most of them will not have a Paula to lead them along while they
are still stinky. Bless her heart. Thank God for her in my life. Thank God for
Don also and Pastor Mike. Thanks to all of you for your patience in taking the
time to listen to my testimony, "the rest of the story!"
Stephen Yulish
Stephen
I was a Professor at the age of 28. I had the world by the tail, at least that I thought that I did. I published a book and numerous academic papers. I gave papers at National Conferences. I shared the stage with Stephen Jay Gould. I wrote a novel, "The Other World" which was a modern day fable of the demon goddess, Lilith. It bounced around New York for years. I even did a reading of it in a loft in Greenwich Village. I knew that Stephen Speilberg's mother had been a member of Beth Joseph Congregation in Phoenix. I tracked her down to the Milky Way Deli in LA. I sent her a letter to please tell her son about my book-it would make a good screenplay for him. She refused. I sent it to Speilberg, anyway. To Amblin Entertainment c/o Paramount Pictures. They sent it back unopened.
This book was the most New Age, demonic book that you could imagine. I glorified evil and Satan. I blurred the distinctions between good and evil, reality and dream and even male and female. I quoted from the lost gospels found at Nag Hammadi. I even gave to my future wife Paula to read when we first met in 1987. This sweet Christian lady read a chapter and gave it back to me appalled!
Here I found myself working for a Christian telemarketing firm selling precious metals to Christian listeners of a radio program. Me, a Professor, a leader in the Phoenix Jewish community working for Christians. My life had been turned upside down by the trauma of loss of job in Jewish community, divorce, my children had moved to Charleston, SC, my father had died and my health had begun to falter. I went into Barrows Neurological Center in Phoenix and they found extensive brain lesions with an MRI and other tests (diagnosis-Multiple Sclerosis... prognosis---wheelchair?). All of this, and I was now working for Christians to boot.
The staff (Paula) prayed for me, my clients prayed for me. How nice. When my coworkers tried to preach to me I slammed them. After all, I had not only been a Director of the Jewish National Fund, but I was also a part of the Community Relations Council in the Jewish community which investigated missionaries. I had lectured at the University of Arizona on anti semitism and the Holocaust. Who did these people think that they were?
I acted like Shaul to them. I flogged them with my tongue, a frequent Jewish tactic. We fight with our tongues , not our fists. One fellow said that he was so frustrated with me that he felt like throwing me over the balcony. I replied, "Oh that's Christian!" They waved the Bible in my face. "read Isaiah 53" read Psalm 22". I replied, "Read this!", shaking my fist!
One day I went to Philip's house for dinner while my new girlfriend, a Jewish New Ager, was at work. After dinner, we all stood in a circle holding hands. He had fed me dinner so I decided to humor him (actually his love was tugging at my heart). We prayed---at least they prayed. I closed my eyes and saw an image darting across the plane of my vision. I blinked. It came back. When we were finished, Philip asked me what I had seen. I said, "Nothing". How did he know ? He must have opened his eyes and seen me grimacing. He said again, "What did you see, Jewboy?" Finally I answered that it was stupid, "forget it".
Well Philip kept insisting. Finally I told them. I saw a man in a suit of armor waving his sword at a being in a monk's robe with no face. Philip's mouth fell open. He ran and got his Bible and showed me Ephesians 6:12f. I did not know what he was talking about. I did not know the Bible. Things like that began to happen as the Holy Spirit was showing me the word visually.
Not too much later, I was sitting at my desk at the office. We all had cubicles. I was trying to close a large deal when an image appeared in front of me. I looked around to see if anyone else saw it. Nobody! It was Jesus on the cross. His head was down. It was night, or the sky was dark, and there was lightning all over the sky. Quite a sight for a nice Jewish, New Age, College Professor, Pharisee-type person. I was dumfounded. I told no one.
The next day, I saw another vision. This time Jesus was on the cross, but it was daylight. He lifted up His head and light poured out of His eyes. He broke the fetters and got off of the Cross. He then proceeded to walk all over the earth with the light still pouring from His eyes. Remember that I did know the Bible at that time especially the New Testament, i.e. Jesus is the light of the world!
I had told Philip that I would not believe unless I saw the burning bush for myself. Scripture says that Jews seek signs. Well God was showing me! That night I had a dream that I had to die (be crucified) for all my friends to live. I anticipated the flogging on my back and the nails though my hands. It was a powerful experience which cannot truly be put into words. I knew instantly what Jesus had done for me. I awoke looking at my hands (Galatians 6:17).
The next day I said the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus into my life. My sister said that they had got me. Praise God. That was on October 3, 1988. Paula and I married on March 30, 1990. I had to leave the company in April of 1991. My health had been to hamper me. but do not pity me. God all along had a plan for my life. Do I miss my former accolades and achievements? No! As Paul said I count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:8).
I feel stronger and healthier than ever. I spend every day serving the Lord because He was there for me. He never failed me nor forsook me. He is my rock and my comforter and supplies me with all my needs. When I am weak physically as Paul said, then I am strong spiritually. His grace is sufficient for me. And I am still not in the "Chair"! Praise His Holy Name forever and ever!