Gerlinda, thanks for the encouragement.  If what I do gets one person saved, or keeps one person on the watch, then I am VERY GLAD about that!    I think writing out my thoughts is helping me to stay on the watch and if others see the same thing, that what I am saying makes sense, or that the Lord is showing them the same things, then it helps me develop.  I skipped a lot of grades in school and graduated very young.....because of this my mathematical skills were highly developed, I made a 100 in Calculus 3, but I kept failing college English.   High School does not prepare you at all for college English....so I have been making up for this ever since.   I do not suggest kids skipping grades now because there is a backlash to it.    So I sometimes write choppy because of this downfall.  

Kathy S and Edwina, thank you for sharing your feelings too.  I am so glad I am not alone.  Sometimes I snap myself out of it wondering being the bride how much should one lament over the sins of the wicked earth....and then how much should one distance themselves from it to keep joy of the rapture.   I don't want to be a depressing person but I don't want to be in lala land that I neglect what is happening.   I need some balance here.   I find myself on a roller coaster that Jesus is coming, but then I see the news and I am very sad.