I read your post and my heart cried out to you! Oh, my dear sister I can only try to understand how it must feel to have storms and tornedoes.
Your name, is CHRISTina!, the onointed One well, what a real blessing for a start, Jesus has called you to this place in your intimacy with Him and He does Hear your call.
I will rememeber you in my prayers daily and ask for sustainance for you, in the spiritual and take heart that He is With you even in your darkest moments. You are brave to state your truest feelings and this can only smash up any dark forces trying to weigh you down.
I pray that extra angels will cover you and protect you and be a comfort to you sister and that by His Blood every demonic entity is now exposed and leaves your home. I sometimes pray to John the Baptist because he lived in the wilds and understands nature and our human needs to be sheltered and safe.
Christina I send my sisterly love and prayers to you and just know that you are not alone and we are all desperate for Jesus's call to go HOME, be at peace and each day we are helping each other to stand in these difficult and trying times.