Nicole (22 Nov 2010)
"My Testimony:  Why do I have Dreams/Visions"

 
Here is my testimony for you John.  Why do I dream or have visions one may ask?

In the late 1980's I was diagnosed with a severe eating disorder of anorexia and bulimia.  I started at 11 years old and it was the most vicious disease ever.   I remember the day that I got the disease.  I wanted to tell you that this disease is not mental, it is not from abuse, it is spiritual.  I was not saved and did not know Jesus Christ.  The demon that was oppressing me was a spirit with the name of Vanity and it came on me.  It would go into the mirror and morph my picture so that I could not see how thin I was.  It also played games with the scale so that I did not realize how thin I was.  The only time I could see how thin I was AFTER I recovered from the disease and looked at the photos of myself, which I shredded.  You could see that my eyes looked very disturbed.  

I wanted to tell you that unless the oppressing spirits are cast out and the patient receives Jesus Christ, this disease easily morphs.  Because of my low self esteem and the constant yo-yo of listening to this demon say "you are so thin, you can afford the piece of cake" to "you piece of trash, why did you eat that" it morphed to alcohol, then relationships, then becoming a workaholic. 

1998 at the age of 20 was the beginning of my journey to salvation.  One day I went to my apartment and fell on my face 7/3/1998 and started crying uncontrollably.  I said, if there is no God then I do not want to live.  The weight of the burdens I had been carrying around me and the pressure to self manage was more than I could bear.  I was living prior to that a very wicked life.  I did not care really what I tried as long as I did not hurt anyone I thought I was OK.  There were times I had been in some truly bad situations.  You don't want to know.

The lights went off and on in my apartment and I turned and looked in the corner and I saw the Lord standing there with His face turned.  He was tall about 6'1" and had a long shimmering, sparkly, white robe that swayed in the wind.  There were diamonds and jewels all inside His garments. 

I then saw a vision myself in a pit of darkness and He threw open this heavy door that was intricately carved and no one could open it.  The door stood probably 12 stories and the weight of it was so heavy only the Lord Himself could open it.  It was like it was steel and a door to a chamber in hell. 

I tell you the truth, He throws people naked in hell and the darkness is so dark, you can feel it.  The terror there is indescribable and even there people fall on their face when Jesus goes into Hell.   In my vision He let me feel what I was seeing.   He grabbed me out of there.   I was never the same for an entire year.   No one would believe my encounter, yet that night I went to sleep and I saw myself sitting on the beach looking onto the ocean.  Jesus came up over the horizon walking towards me with His robe swaying in the wind with huge angelic wings of protection and had His hands out wide like He was getting me. 

My burdens were so light!   Oh I changed my ways for a year...I turned off the tv, the secular music.  I stopped drinking alcohol and partying.   But then after a year the honey moon had worn off and the enemy tempted me with alcohol.   Like the Bible says, when you clean your house you must stay clean lest 7 times the spirits come back.   I was listening to the word on the radio 24 hours a day.  But I tell you, this was not in vain because it went deep into my spirit for the years to come. 

It was true, the sin that I fell into after this was 7 times worse.  Oh like the Bible says, it would be better if you never knew Him at all!   I kept making excuses that Jesus turned water into wine.  Well if I understood the scripture correctly, the wine was unfermented and done during the time of Unleavened Bread!  

I moved to a place I did not know anything about and the culture was unlike anything I experienced before.  I was offered a job in Austin, Texas in 1999.  I stayed in Austin and had met a wonderful flashy Italian Christian man but he left me because I would not stop partying.  We were on 6th Street every night and I started getting caught up in the gay scene.  He was so hurt and disgusted, I do not blame him at all.  I thought to myself, well I am saved so I do not understand what he is so mad about.   Wow, I did not understand the whole concept of what Paul the Apostle was talking about or the fact that in the Jewish law fermented drink was forbidden because it was considered a poison!

At that time after 9 months I was offered a job in Santa Cruz, California which was more comfortable for me, because I did not fit-in in Texas.  I had only about $.80 in my bank account and so the company said they would fly me out.  Of course I had nothing to eat or no way of transportation so I said, Lord if you want me to take this job please make it happen.  The company paid for my flight, the hotel and they paid for my meals at the hotel as well.   My old boss from Texas showed up with his wife at the hotel and they assisted me in finding an apartment.  The company wrote the check for the lease, they took me out to eat and I got the job.  The company wrote me a relocation check and I went back and packed up everything within a week.   I moved into an apartment that was attached to a large house in the Santa Cruz Mountains on a multi-million dollar house.  The owner had several other homes and horses galore.  However when I got to Santa Cruz I fell into heavy drinking and the gay scene and occult is so strong there.  You know all the witchcraft in the Santa Cruz Mountains. 

I knew I was not living right so during the 2000 Presidential election when the chaos was occurring with the recounts, I fasted from alcohol.  I asked the Lord what He wanted me to do with my life.   He said to me out loud in an audible voice, Buy a House in Sacramento.  Sacramento?  Why not Los Angeles?   So with that I went online at work and I bought a house on the internet without seeing it.   It was a perfect little house to be honest with you!

This house I bought was about 4 hours away.  Everyone at the company thought I was crazy in Santa Cruz.  But at this point there was nothing that could get me to change my mind.  I decide to commute back and forth every day.  Was I insane?  I really think I was for a period of 6 months because I got up at 3 a.m. and made it to work by 8 am.  And I got off work at 5 p.m. and got home my 9 p.m. usually....however on Fridays I got home sometimes by midnight.   I was able to get out of my lease in Santa Cruz and they actually helped me move.  About 6 months after buying the house I was laid off because the company was sold.   You see, this commuting was not in vain because the Lord was going to have me do it one more time before the rapture. 

I searched for a job and then in December 2001 I got a full time job and my first husband proposed and moved in with me and helped me with my mortgage.  You see I had been partying with a friend at a bar and I found out that night she was cheating on her husband.  I was so mad, I talked bad about her and she left me there.  I was going to get a cab home and then get my car from her house the next morning, but a man with his brother and sister said that they would drive me home.   The man would happen to propose to me that coming Christmas!   You see I was sinning in a bar, and even though the enemy was trying to keep me bound, the Lord Jesus came into that bar and pulled me out of darkness again like I saw in 1998. 

During the 2001 down-market of the .Com Era I had lost my car because I could not pay it anymore, so my fiancé drove me to work every day.  I had my driving privilege suspended due a DUI in early 2001 for three months also and the people I rented from in Santa Cruz actually knew an attorney right down the street from my new house in Sacramento.  It was all mapped out by the Lord.  Then in February 2002 I found out I was pregnant with my son.  My first husband had a dream about him and said that he would be very, very special.   (And my son now has visions and dreams and no one talks to him about anything).

This first house I bought was extremely difficult.  I had for a period of 3 months before I met my first husband in December 2001 had to get roommates.  Two girls came to live with me and they decided to drink underage and do drugs in my house.  One of them worked at a grocery store and would ring herself up alcohol.   I had to talk to their parents and they agreed that they were not acting right, so they moved.   By the grace of God!  I would have gone to jail for their behavior.  I will NEVER be a landlord again!

I had met a man earlier in the year in 2001 that I was seeing and I loved him with every breath that I had.  I would have given him anything he asked, there were no limits.  He was another flashy Italian Christian man; however he started getting in trouble with the SEC for fraud by his greedy partner….and starting mixing Zoloft with alcohol.   He and I were in the same boat with having large mortgages and losing our careers.   You see I had been in the rise and the fall of the .Com industry and I was used to getting very large bonuses.  Going from that to no job was frightening. 

So we ended the relationship with an alcoholic fight in Las Vegas and it was awful.  I went home from that ordeal and I felt someone had died.  I cried for months and that is why I ended up getting a DUI.   But the Lord was smiling, because He wanted me to give up my idols, put Him first, and then send me the man of my dreams.....but not without slaying a few dragons!   I did not really love my first husband you see, but the Lord was not so much interested in my happiness at that point, but my repentance, holiness and getting prepared for the rapture.   The Lord sent my new husband because again, He did not want me to die.  He had already rescued me several times from destruction and He was doing it again.  Why was He doing this?  I did not deserve it.  I knew I wanted Him and was not really saved, yet I knew I was destined for the rapture since the age of 7.   But this event was not in vain, for the Lord was going to send me another husband better than this man and we would marry in Las Vegas 7 years later.  I felt like Jacob!!!!

It was only until 11/26/2004 that Jesus Christ came to me as a lion with eyes of fire that I was able to lay everything at His feet, repent and cry out to Him wholeheartedly.  I just couldn't take it anymore, trying to be in control of everything.  I was not managing my life.   This demon is vicious and it was ready to drag me to hell a couple of times.  My path was leading into homosexuality and also the occult.  I have been to some very bad places but praise God He has the power to heal.   

I had previously before I got sick at the age of 11 started seeing visions of the Rapture.  These visions started at age 7.    I am now living in Los Angeles, happily married with an 8 year old son.  The Lord healed my body and I was able to drink nutrition shakes from GNC to rebuild all my body.  I did suffer a little from the years of abuse by having my gallbladder removed.   I do have to say to anyone with a child with an eating disorder is drink lots of water for their skin and get them to take calcium.  It has no calories and it is very important to a long term building of bones as a woman ages.   They hate the water weight gained, but that is only from salt retention.  When you drink a couple glasses of water it starts a flushing mechanism and gets rid of the salt.  Water has no calories.  But when you hit your 30’s your skin and bones become very important to you.   

I wish I would have known a long time ago about combating this disease.  It plagued me so long.  I started getting addicted to Rockstar energy drinks in 2002 after I had my baby in order to keep upbeat.   I think for the longest time I was trying to self medicate because my serotonin levels always seem down.  Because of the heavy alcohol drinking from the age of 14-26 even though my liver is fine, I had my gall bladder removed.     The Lord finally told me as of April last year to stop cold turkey the energy drinks so I would not be a dead body for the rapture.  It has been one addiction after another since the eating disorder.   I always wanted to be upbeat, but in the back of my mind I truly believe God was going to abandon me.  

What was the root cause of me switching or trading addictions through the years after I combated one?  I truly learned it from Steve Foss, who is a minister.   It is a deception of two spirits who feed all the other spirits.  These two main ones are insecurity and inferiority.   What I learned is that even though I might have given up not eating, working out, or alcohol, or cigarettes, those were small demon and easily transferable.   I could bind the small ones for a while but the bigger one of either inferiority or insecurity would rear its head again and a new one would emerge to bring a new symptom or addiction.   When I put my security in Jesus Christ, I was free.

But you know in 2006 I decided to find my biological dad because I had been angry at my mother for taking me away from him.  I found out that my mother had walked out on him and escaped from his physical and verbal abuse on THANKSGIVING DAY I believe it might be 1978 or 1979?  Wow, Jesus came to me the day after Thanksgiving in 2004 and rescued me from alcohol!    And I found out for the first time why my mother left him.   He had schizophrenia from his car accident and he said very inappropriate things to me on the phone.  He was a mortician and he was driving a car and he fell asleep at the wheel driving across state and he was thrown out of the car when his head hit the car....he was found on the side of the road with his brain exposed on the ground.   When I emailed his brother about his inappropriate behavior, his brother said that I was just looking for money and I was not a part of the family.   So I cut them out of my life without any regret.  I knew it was for the best and that really helped me to heal. 

But I had so much hardship to understand this.  He had to pull everything out from underneath me.  I lost my job in Sacramento in the down-market of the housing industry, then my first husband assaulted me, we got a divorce in April 2007, then my house foreclosed that I had bought myself through hard work.  I was actually surprised my first husband stayed with me through the alcohol to tell you the truth until God got a hold of me in 2004 and I quit cold turkey.  


But after the divorce I started opening up his email account because he gave it to me and I saw thousands of emails from porn sites.   Was I blind?  Was I just lost in an illusion?   I promised myself on my next marriage I would not have my head in the sand with regards to people or the Lord and the rapture.  I had immersed myself in my career and for about 3 years partied while my husband was quietly immersing himself in an online addiction.    

About 3 days after he left the house after assaulting me, I found out that Friday he was taking my son for a day to share some time and he introduced my son to his new girlfriend.   When I told my friend Michelle about this incident, she said....do you remember the time when he said on a Saturday he left his wallet at work downtown?   He didn't leave his wallet and I wanted to tell you.  What a fool I was!  How did I not SEE THE SIGNS!   I missed it!    But the Lord was not going to allow this experience to be in vain, for He was NOT going to let me miss the signs of the rapture!

In November 2007 I then met my new husband and I knew the Lord said I would marry him for the end of time.  I loved this man as much as I loved that man way back from 2001.  I loved him with a fire I had never felt before.   I have put up with so much from him, but yet I am able to forgive because I know what Jesus has forgiven me from.   I also realize that once I gave up my idols the Lord was able to give me back the desire of my heart. 

On December 7, 2007 my new husband and I had our first date downtown Sacramento.  A man came into the alley and started smiling at us and then DISAPPEARED into THIN AIR!  He was an older gentleman, grey suit, glasses, a pink tie and a pretty shopping bag that looked like he was giving someone a gift.  Was this gift for me?   Who was he, was it an angel?

But that journey came with hardship also as I moved to Los Angeles for him.  I had to move 450 miles and find a new job and a place to live.   I was glad to be in Los Angeles again.   I was running like a mad man trying to train corporate at my old job in Sacramento so they could downsize, trying to see my new fiancé in LA and commuting 1800 miles a weekend so I could find a job in LA...and then because I did not want to move in with him I ended up living in a not so good apartment..foreclosing on my home and trying to move with a little boy and dealing with court to move my son..(my new husband couldn't move because his mom is elderly).   In any case it was very, very hard.   I did not have a day off to handle things and there was no vacation transition to move.  I had to do everything on the weekends and sometimes my son and I slept in the car along the way from Sacramento to Los Angeles just to take breaks. 

My new husband was also stuck in a rut of his life in Los Angeles.  Everything was easy for him and his job was right down the street.  His mother had taken care of important matters for him.   He had years of paperwork in boxes, was unorganized, his things were old, he was very depressed.  He spent hours online talking to women all over the world because he was afraid of growing old and alone.  He had 15 email accounts and chat accounts.  He asked me once to fix his computer because he had not put the appropriate software on it to guard against viruses.  I saw all the chat accounts.  Then I started organizing his tax returns, files, etc. and found receipts of restaurants he had taken women to.  He had lied to me and I had moved for him and gone through so much hardship.  Was I some complete idiot chasing what I thought the Lord said and it was from the devil to snare me into a trap to become a pauper?   I was confused and angry.   But you know, nothing is what it seems.   I had remembered about my first husband being online during our marriage and I wanted to find out what the reason for this was.  I had to confront it!  I had to know if I was doing something wrong, if men who start aging go through a depression and are afraid to talk about it.  I was going to penetrate into this cancer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzyGrcCv-fk&feature=related


My husband and I were officially engaged on 9/12/2008 and we realized it was the day of the global financial collapse with Lehman Brothers bank failure.  We knew it was a sign from God.  He decided to put his house up on the market and move an hour away in Los Angeles.    My husband had bought a new house however the realtors got us into a serious accident on 11/1/2008.  I was thrown into the center divider of the freeway and my head hit the divider.   I should have had my brain bashed in. We were spinning around the freeway in the pouring rain.  The car was totaled, but miraculously we ended up on the shoulder at 3:16 p.m. and I screamed Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou Shalt be Saved!   

The enemy did not want us to get married.  We did anyway and went to Las Vegas on Christmas Eve 2008.  It was so wonderful!  I found later this year pictures I had developed of him and his mother in Vegas a couple of years before and she was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.   I realized our hotel room at the Bellagio faced the Eiffel tower and my husband took a photo of me in front of the window with it in view while I was in my wedding dress. 

But I prayed and I knew that he was the one that I needed to marry, but he was my project from the Lord.  I had to do this task in order to gain rewards for the life I had lived mostly in vain.  The enemy knew my husband was extremely charismatic and while the Lord wanted to use it for the kingdom to bring souls in, the enemy was sidetracking him to chase women.   Once the Lord showed me this strategy I was able to put my armor on and battle through.   There were many times I wanted to leave and divorce this man.  He was verbally abusive and hateful at times.  He was just lost.  It has taken 3 years for him to develop and it has been slow, yet he is on the road to almost being saved.  It is going from head knowledge right now and I know it will become real to him soon.  Stephen Covey who has audio tapes on 7 Habits for Highly Successful People has been one of the stepping stones in his development.

Why did the Lord allow me to divorce?  Well because He had a higher purpose if He allowed this.  He wanted me to bring the gospel to my new husband's family, get me spiritually prepared for the rapture, and train my husband because he would be left behind and share the gospel bringing in thousands of people to the Kingdom.   A new strategy was set before me but it was not a new strategy by the Lord.   Looking back at my birth certificate I realized my new husband's birthday is implanted right there in front of my face on the certificate number.   How did I never see it until last week when I was laminating important documents?  


In February 2009 after shortly being married I was driving home from my work and I was run off the road by a vicious driver and he drove onto the dirt on the passenger side of my car and slammed into the door.  He wanted to get me out of my car!  I had to drive 80 miles an hour to get away from him and he was chasing me!   I was laid off my job again and I had pneumonia at the time and I basically had a nervous breakdown.   Why was I being sifted like wheat……Because the enemy did not want me to make the rapture and my husband not to bring in thousands of people to Christ in the tribulation? 


 I have been a stay at home mom and helping my husband get organized because the job market is awful.   It has been great, he bought me a dog and I have been able to spend time with my 8 year old son.  My new husband has a son in his 20's who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I have been trying to work with his public defender in New Jersey to keep him out of prison for an offense and get him committed with treatment.   I had to write a 30 page letter on the history of his illness to the attorney with medical history, etc. so he could meet with the district attorney.   He cycles off his medication every 6 months because he thinks he is OK and then ends up in the hospital or jail for his inappropriate behavior.    Wow, you see my experience with my own father was not in vain for the Lord used it to help my new husband's son.  I had to get past the hurt in order to see the strategy of the enemy.


I had surgery this summer at the end of July and a fire came behind our house and we almost lost it.  I was by myself and during the fire and a police officer came and told me to evacuate.  Mind you I got a 104 degree fever from an infection from the doctor.   When I woke up from surgery I heard the surgical nurse say to the surgical tech, You are going to get fired!  I confronted the surgeon and he said not to worry about her because she has manic depressive disorder!   We had to stay in a hotel during the fires and I almost died. 

On 8/1/2010 I was so violently ill and vomiting I had an out of body experience.  I started going through the ceiling and I put my hands up and said Jesus.  But as soon as I did that I was back in my body and my fever broke.  Since this experience of the car accident on 11/1/2008 the Lord has quickened me to write from my journal a little series of my dreams and visions.  I feel this has been quite comforting to know that through all the hardship He has been there.  I do not think I could have gotten through everything without Jesus Christ...really I would have died.    You see she lost her parents to cancer, her sister to a car accident.


In September 2010 I was called for jury duty.  What was the case about?  A man who assaulted his wife and he was crying.  When the judge called me to the stand to ask me some questions, the Holy Spirit overcame me and I broke down and cried.  A true repentance came over me yet again and I looked at both attorneys and told them a valuable lesson of my journey.   You see, there was a trial on earth for my sins.   It was not a trial to send me to hell, but there are consequences and lessons to be learned from sin.   I would rather the lessons be this way and gentle than another way.  As Malachi 2:16 says that the Lord hates divorce.  Yes, He hated my divorce but He allowed it, He forced me to learn hard lessons to understand until death do us part, to work on my self esteem from years of abuse from an eating disorder, and to bring a higher purpose to His kingdom.

I really think the man on trial was affected so that he could see the long term problems arising from what happened.   You see my son cried himself to sleep, I was unable to refinance the house and I lost it, there are no jobs out there and fierce competition, the apartment rates are soaring.   The apartment landlords can put a notice on your front door everyday that they can enter (and this is legal) and they walk in on you when you are sleeping, in the shower, etc.  A new relationship can be much harder because people are getting better at hiding their sins.   My ex-husband sends me text messages sometimes he still loves me and I am remarried.   My son always says, I hope you and my dad are reunited in Heaven.   These are the things that arise from a man hitting his wife!  Or cheating on her! 

You see I was in darkness so much of my life.  I did not see the signs of the times because I was jumping from one addiction to another.  I was partying and living for my job.  I did not see that my first husband was cheating on me. 

I may be fooled by men, but I will NOT BE LEFT BEHIND because I missed the signs!

Helping others has really helped me to grow up a lot.   I think that an eating disorder is a disease in which I pulled into myself for fear of having to grow up.   The responsibility seemed so overwhelming.   I failed to see the joy in life on a daily basis.   I was living for the applause because everyone always said I was so smart.  I wanted to please everyone and I don't know why.   I also felt really abandoned for some reason by people.  Now I don't care if anyone likes me.  I wear my Jesus tshirts or jewelry and I will wear bright yellow nail polish if I feel like it.   I went on an interview and a Jewish man told me I was too Hollywood for a job.   Lol, I was not trying to be Hollywood at all.  I was just being me and being happy!     


I asked the Lord why these things keep happening to me and He said that the enemy has never wanted me to make the rapture.  He has desperately attempted to kill me to steal this gift.  And I am not destined to be killed, that I am destined to go at the glorious time at the end of the church age.   As of 11/6/2010, two years later from that almost fatal car accident we have entered the tribulation period.  People say that we have not entered the tribulation period, the church has to be taken out first, well I will explain it below. 

Please do not email me debating the dates of the rapture/tribulation.  It is my testimony that should have you walking away asking yourself, am I missing the signs of the rapture?  Is my head in the sand going to dinner parties, being caught up in corporate meetings, kids football games?  Do I have any sin I need to really, really get rid of that is even hidden from my spouse? 

Obviously there are so many signs since September this year...like the Christchurch earthquake (Narnia, is filmed in New Zealand), a supernova in Leo, Poland's huge statue of Jesus being crowned, the Jesus statue in Ohio struck by lightening, Obama portrayed as the god of all things on Newsweek, the TSA scanners, the currency wars, all the alien "rapture/abduction" deception movies, and the list goes on and on and on.   I look to the glorious hope of Christ return for His bride.    


What I believe is this per several studies and Pastor Sandy Armstrong:


NOTE:  WE WILL KNOW IF THIS IS FALSE IF HANNUKAH PASSES THIS YEAR.   My argument or believe is based on only what I know to be true right now with the information I have.  


Per my vision I saw Sandy Armstrong holding the rapture door open for me, so I am believing this has to be it with all my heart.  I will be extremely disappointed if in fact it does not happen like this, but I will keep watching. 


Regarding the Tribulation

Regarding the Rapture

Side Notes