Hi Paul,

Yes I understand what it is that you are trying to say.   The world as it is today is leaving me numb.  All I want to do is read the Word of God, pray, pass what I learn along to others.  When I try to tell my family and friends what is about to happen they get mad now.  I am obsessed they say, "what will be will be" is their come back.  As I sit at home studying God's word, my body healing slowly from back surgery, I wonder if anything will make them aware that they need to change and repent and turn to God.  I suffer from really back migraines, I have these strange feelings in my stomach, and most of all I have no hope that this world is going to turn back from evil.  It becomes so overwhelming to me, sometimes so much so that all I can do is go in my room, shut the lights, close the curtains and sleep.  I too want to go home, Paul, as I am sure many others do too.  It is getting really hard to stay upbeat and not  show how depressed I am to those around me.   I feel guilty when I turn on the tele. to watch some dumb show so that I don't have to think.  I used to be able to just get the kids and get in the car and go to the beach, or the park and enjoy God's wonderful creation, but because I am broke, taking unnecessary trips is wasteful.  I used to be able to walk around my neighborhood as it is really nice to look at pretty yards, seeing others walking and saying hi, but now, again, because of this injury it is become too difficult to do.  My husband still can't find decent work here in San Diego and has to stay with my daughter in Las Vegas where he works sporadically at some conventions waiting to make enough money to send home when he can.  We cannot pay our bills fully every month and things are going straight down in the dump. I feel really bad for him because it is hitting him so hard that after 29 years of marriage he cannot take care of his family, so I have to be strong for him and them, which is taking a real toll on me.  I am tired of being the "strong" one as one of my daughter puts it.  I have a hard time hidding how down I feel, which in turn, makes my dear husband feel even worst.   Then, there is the guilt that comes from feeling how I feel, knowing that as a follower of Christ I should live by faith and trust Him to keep me strong and be joyfull instead of sad.  I want to go home, Paul, I pray to be found worthy by God to make it on the rapture call, I ask the Lord to forgive me for being such a weakling.  I really do try my best to be a light among many lights, shining on this world for Christ Our Savior, but it is so hard. 

I apologize to all of you Doves for being so down instead of encouraging.  I need prayers badly and a renewing of my spirit.  I know that without the Lord in my life it would be so much worst, but there is a grey cloud hovering over my head blocking the sunshine.  So more for me than anyone else I am posting my favorite Psalm hoping someone will get uplifted by it.

God bless you all Doves and may Our Lord keep you under His wings.
(again, I apologize for being so gloomy, but I want to go Home, please Lord, come and get us soon, please Lord)

Each and every time these feelings get really bad, my Father in Heaven is true to His Word and rescues me from total emotional collapse. 

Psalm 91 (King James Version)

Psalm 91

 ¹He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

 ²I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

 ³Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

 ⁴He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

 ⁵Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

 ⁶Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

 ⁷A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

 ⁸Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

 ⁹Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

 ¹⁰There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

 ¹¹For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

 ¹²They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

 ¹³Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

 ¹⁴Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

 ¹⁵He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

 ¹⁶With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.