Hello, John and Doves,
Nicole, the best way that I know how to
deal with situations like this is to overwhelm them with
the Word of God.
[Read Matthew 4:1 to 4:11.]
No matter what they say, come back at them
with scripture, and with love.
The bottom line? Make them so
convicted by the Word, that they either change for better, or
they stop calling you in order to avoid the
conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Remember, do all that you do in love.
[1 Corinthians, chapter 13--entire chapter]
"How to Deal?"
Ok Doves I have a scenario that I need help with.
I have a family member who is born again that I do not want to have a
deep relationship with. This person lives on the other side of
the United States and calls me sometimes 4 times a day. I
do not agree with the way that they view things and their ideas on
life. It feels sometimes like a dependent relationship and
since I won't fly I will never see them again. I have lived
far away from this person for 12 years and they have never come to see
me. This person sends me gifts that I do not like and they
know I do not like these things, but they like them. Then
when this person is on the phone, they are always sick, always
tired. And they go into detail about their entire day, the
people they live with and what they are doing and their personal
To be honest with you guys I feel depressed when I talk to this person
and I do not want a relationship. I think this person is severely
lonely and depressed and I am too busy to constantly sit on the
phone. I am not a person who really likes sitting on the
phone listening to the details of people's lives, what they ate, what
they wear. My husband says I think like a business
man. When I am on the phone or at work I say, what's the
How can I politely distance myself from this person without being
hateful, rude, or hurting them? How can I stay away and not
hurt someone who belongs to the Lord? I do not want to
harbor hatred or unforgiveness and when I speak to this person and they
will not change and want to continue in their circular thinking......I
start getting very irritated.
Time is too short for me to be distracted! I feel this person is
trying to escape from their current life all the time by living in a
fantasy of other people's lives and not living themselves.
I am tired of hearing about this person not having a great job, a nice
place, and always saying things like they love horses, etc. and not
taking any small or big steps in their lives to make anything
happen. They get a job offer and then go to that job and say they
hate it and quit.
For me I am a person of action. If I don't like my hair I die it,
get extensions, get a wig or cut it off. If I do not like
the way my house looks I rearrange everything, get out the paint and
take car loads of junk to Goodwill. My personality
cannot be reconciled to this person and I feel like Jesus has us on
opposite sides of the United States for a reason.
What would you guys do? I am only 33 and I know that there
are Godly older men and women who have this same problem in their
families, work or churches.