Kathy (2 March 2011)
"A desparate prayer need..."

Thank YOU ALL for having such a passion for Jesus Christ.  It is soo wonderful to be able to come here and read each day.  Each post just pours out the love you have in our Lord and Saviour.
One day SOON we will ALL be able to meet in our "heavenly home"  Praise the Lord!
I do have an urgent prayer request.  I'll try to be brief, by giving a short background so you won't think I'll a nut case.
20+ yrs ago I was rearended by a semi.  It didn't do alot of damage to my car, but it did to me in time.  Which over the years arthritis has taken over my body.  I have many ailments stemming from this trauma to my body.  Fibromyalgia, 2 bi-lateral jaw joint replacements ( not to mention 6 total jaw surgeries), 3 cervical discs replaced, 3 shoulder surgeries, bad SI Joints, bulging L3 disc, chronic migraines, countless surgeries from head to knee and metallosis....I'll stop at that.
For about 4 yrs when I go to church or anywhere to sit more than minutes, I have to take a certain kind of 'bag chair' that slants.  It takes the pressure off my SI Joints and lower back.  I spend at least 18 to 23 hrs in bed on most days.  I look so forward in going to church on sunday morning.
I wear the strongest pain patch available plus pain pills in an addition when needed.  For a few yrs now I lay prostrate crying out to God for help physically, emotionally and financially.  I soo wish and pray whatever my purpose in life is....God will allow me to hurry up and fulfill the purpose and it Glorify Him to the greatest.
My strength has long been gone for years.  The ONLY way I can live each day is thru God's strength.  Phil 4:13 is my verse to claim and lean on every minute of the each day.
OK, that's a short version for more than 20 yrs.  Last night my pain was just off the charts terrible.  I've learned that it does NO good to go to the ER when you are a chronic pain patient.  They will NOT help you.  Or give you anything.  They think you are a druggie needing a 'fix'.  Which is soo sad these days for those of us in real need.  I cried out for help to God to get relief or to call me home in my sleep.  After a while I did go to sleep and am better this morning.  Thank the Lord!  Having pain like this just drains your body and mind.
But, I NEED a special touch from God to be able to carrying on and to fight thru this pain.  I have been praying for God to reveal himself to me somehow or someway to help me to know what He wants me to do.  Why am I here and suffering so?  NO ONE sees me suffer like this except my husband and adult kids.
This costs from this is just awful over the years.  We are in debt past our eyeballs.  We have collectors calling all the time from medical bills we can't pay.  We have more than most people have which I thank God for EACH DAY.  But life is soo hard.  God sent me a wonderful husband many yrs ago and two wonderful kids that are adults now.  It hurts me to see how "I" trap my husband in so many ways.  We stay soo broke because of ME, if I'm having a good day, we can't do anything or go anywhere that costs money.  Just last year what we payed on ME was 8,800. and something dollars. (just did taxes).  That doesn't include ALL we couldn't pay that we get phone calls for wanting their money.  They don't care if you eat or not....they want to be paid.
I'm being way to long. I'm so sorry. There just is too much on my plate.  I've prayed for a long while for God to let me see a vision like Paul did to help him be contended with the thorn in his side.  I am no where in my walk with God like Paul was.  Please don't think that I think that.  I only wish I could be a Glory to God like he was.
Please help me pray for a special touch from God.  I soo want my NEW BODY in heaven.  It is God's authority to decide when I'll end this suffering.  If you think of it when you pray....please ask God to reveal Himself to me somehow or someway.  I so need to know what my purpose from continuing to suffer for soo many years.  I'm just soo, soo tired.
Thank you so much for reading.  And John...it's OK if you think this shouldn't be on the website.  God hears my prayer and knows my needs.  I was just hoping for intersory prayer from others.  May God bless you in all you do.