Fay (3 March 2011)
"Mary Anna, Vicki and Doves"

Hi John and Doves,
Mary Anna - thank you for the beautiful poetry. Utterly beautiful. I don't go to church because I am very wary of the hypocrisy that sneaks in. It was prevalent in our church in Zimbabwe and I just don't want to be disappointed like that again. I have a good bunch of friends and a wonderful, loving family. However, even if most are believers, they do think I'm a little too engrossed with Bible prophecy. It is a very lonely thing - being a watchman. I am extremely aware that the LORD has led me to the unfolding of prophecy, so I couldn't change my way of thinking - even if I wanted to!! I do have doubts, sometimes. Doubts about my own feelings or attempts at interpretation. The LORD always picks me up and provides me with new insight and my enthusiasm is bolstered anew. I would love to talk to my beloved family and friends about these things but they aren't really that interested. As I said, they are believers but they are certainly not watchmen. Often, I'll tell them something of great import - thinking that it'll blow their socks off and I get a reaction of "Okay, wow" and that's it!!! Shreeeeek - so frustrating. Haha. I used to get upset about it (inside) but I have learned to accept that some people are called to it and others not. I tend to keep a lot of stuff to myself now. My family and friends always call me when they are alarmed at something (the Christchurch earthquake put the cat firmly amongst the pigeons) so I believe that I am the appointed watchman for my immediate circle. The LORD also sent me to the Dove website so that I can fellowship with all of you wonderful, like-minded people. I have a great bunch of people that are all watchmen! Hooray!
Vicki - I also giggle at my feeble maths calculations. Often, I'll be on to something really good and my brain decides "enough is enough" and I lose the thread completely. I'll turn back to my scribblings (on various bits of paper) and think "WHAT!!! - what was I trying to work out there? - where did those numbers come from???" I do thoroughly enjoy it though. I have a strong feeling that our LORD laughs with me!
I keep you all in my prayers. Can I ask that you do the same for me? I have a problem but it's nothing compared to the problems I read about on Doves. Still, it's a problem to me. Please pray that the LORD will enable me to sort it out?
Thank you Doves.