Dear Tracy,
 
Don't be afraid!  You appear to have the heart that God is looking for and I don't think you need to be afraid.  I plan to send one chapter a day to John to post here on Five Doves that will, I think, clear up all of your questions.  For those of you who want to read more, you can go directly to the following link to read the whole book now:
http://salemjustice.org/When%20We%20Awake.pdf
 
My experience as a Christian for over thirty years is that most Christians are complacent about their salvation and partake of most of the evil the world has to offer.  When We Awake teaches that we cannot do this and hope to see God (be raptured) until we are purified in His refining fires.
 
Blessings to you,
 
Glenn