Hi Doves,

Injured at work in 2006 I am now recovering from back surgery.  California Workers comp law gives only 2 years of compensation wages then until you are found permanent and stationary your doctor rates you and you get a certain amount based on that rating and it is distributed every 14 days until you reached the amount they want to give you plus your medical bills are paid.  Needless to say the compensation given is no where near what is needed to live.  My husband is still unemployed, 4 years now, and still can't find work.  We are about to lose everything, fortunately we rent and don't have a mortgage, but as you know California is a very expensive place to live.  We are hanging by a shriveling thread and it is scary.  I have children at home still, including my grandson.  I have been hanging strong these past few years but I am getting  very  tired now.  I know about trusting God and I know about leaving our troubles at His feet.  However, the enemy likes these situations and my mind and my heart are weakening by the day.  

I am not sure what to do, settle for a lump sum (which is nothing per CA WC Laws) and pay my bills with no future medical (which I would need as my back is still not fused) or stay where I am and become homeless.  I am angry at my attorney who told me that maybe I should go shoot the CA governor who changed the laws in 2004 and made it very difficult for the injured worker.  How could he possibly even joke like that?  Doves I am at my wit's ends as I am not receiving any clear message from the Lord on how to proceed.  I really am trying very, very hard not to give in to depression and despair but it seems like I am fast falling toward failure.  Dealing with pain everyday, being mentally overwhelmed by the way things are turning out is crushing me, I don't know what to do.  They are coming to repo my car in a couple of days, which in San Diego is a must to have especially since my Doctor is 30+ miles away (our transit system is not very good either).  I am also trying to stay strong for my husband who feels so bad that he cannot take care of his family.  Now I am physically and mentally tired of being the "strong-one".

Please pray as I don't know what to ask God for.  How is my family going to survive this?  I so want to be a good example of a trusting Christian but right now I feel like a failure.  Please pray for us.