You really will enjoy these!!
 
 
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I
pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You
did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the
boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
 

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you
ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes
later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
 

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought
it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in
or stay out!'"
 
 

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his
voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave
him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's
room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The
big sissy."
 
 

5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's
growing in your butt?"
 
 

6. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but
mother says I'm not."
 

7. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I
can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"