1 Cor 10:31 (29 July 2018)
"wacky end days RELATIONSHIPS!!"

Okay, I full well know I’m not alone!  One friend, bless her heart, one week she’s going to get married, the next week she isn’t (because they’ve had another blow out) & on & on & on the saga goes….

Another friend has no peace as she’s put up with domestic VIOLENCE from her husband for years!!  I have no clue why she’s never left him!  (too brutal?  Find them & kill them?)  These ppl are “Christians” BTW!!  For all the challenges & sorrows I’ve had to endure over the years, I cannot imagine much worse than ongoing spousal abuse!

My own personal challenge right now is trying to find a good balance with friendship.  E.g. I have a neighbor, lovely Christian lady, whom I’d like to befriend as she’s all alone in this world, just her & her crippled grown daughter.  But “PJ” will have none of it!  Not that she doesn’t want the friendship “from a distance”, she just will not accept help of any kind…. She’s too strong & independent.  And I rather expect the harshness of life has made her that way.

But then on the opposite end of the spectrum, a “friend” (I now very loosely use the term)  wants me to be her all in all – yet she’s made so many crass comments this year alone that she’s finally pushed me too far….. I have trouble just dropping someone cold turkey, but I’m now to that point – only thing is, I still must conduct business with the place where she works & just hope I won’t run across someone who’s close to her when I drop by.

But M. just absolutely all but makes me want to cuss!!  I try to be kind to her – I send her a card now & then explaining my busy-ness as I had to get back to work FULL TIME with our business & also I ask how she’s doing and I check in on the phone about once a month….. but all I still hear is the nasty, you don’t care!!”

So …. know what?  It’s true – I almost DON’T CARE!!!!!!!   It’s like I DO care…. But I DON’T!!!  If that makes any sense??   Whether she “understands” or not – all she does is PUSH ME AWAY with such crass comments!!

At this point, I really want this to end!!  ~~  yep, it’s true….  I’ve tried in every way I know to try to keep going status quo, but at this rate, I DO NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS with someone who, even if it’s intended to be merely jesting – constantly wants to make me feel bad!!!   SIGH!!   There, I said it!!  This wasn’t my choice, I did not want it to end – but she keeps pushing the envelope, so this is now the path I choose/hope to take!!   

She’s not on the computer, nor does she text (thankfully, otherwise would have pestered me to death!)  but maybe I should “block her” from my phone?  Meantime, I’ll spend the next month with my voice mail (purposely) FULL – that way, at least none of her calls get through!!  Though it’s sad….. yes, I have peace about this decision.  Again, repeating myself (mainly just to “console ME” I think!)  This isn’t the way I WANTED it….. yet when someone acts up & keeps at it though I’ve leveled with her time & again…. Then we have no recourse but to REACT!!!!  And I must always remind myself that, I COUNT TOO!!!!!  Also from this, will forever remind myself:  “The righteous should CHOOSE HIS FRIENDS CAREFULLY, …. (Proverbs 12:26)

Will you please pray that this “friend” and I will DEPART from each other – not mad, not in a hurtful, vengeful way – but that we can just STOP it here & now & I will not be pestered by her anymore?

Interesting to note:  her real name, INITIALS spell:  MAD!!!   (seriously!)

I love & care about her & always will, but I cannot do everything, be everything for her!! 

We became fast friends 2 years ago…. But I made the HUGE mistake of catering to her….. and I mean that in every sense of the word, not only was I trying to “help” her {thinking it was the Biblical thing to do…}  but I ended up giving her WAY TOO MUCH stuff & I took food by at least once or twice a week!!!   At first, it was all humbly appreciated…. However as time progressed, (you guessed it!)  she got to where she EXPECTED it!!  

Then over time as I started having my own personal and/or family challenges  {of which I got NO SYMPATHY!!! ~~ not even as much as a crumb of compassion!!}  & for various reasons, I had to pull back.   Decided I was out of the FULL TIME TAKING CARE OF OTHERS business!!  We actually had words back in January when she had the audacity to chew me out…. I didn’t sleep much for 2 nights b/c I don’t like hurting ppl’s feelings, yet at the same time had to keep reminding myself that I get a choice, too (whether to continue as friends or not!)

I’ve leveled w/her.  I’ve told her over & over again that I’m busier now & have these other challenges.  But finally she’s pushed me to the brink & I’ve decided I’M DONE!!   Not going to endure her any more.  I want to remember her fondly, but now distance myself as I’m tired of being constantly hurt.  Got enough others in my family who enjoy gouging me, don’t need it from “friends” too!

It's going to take a while to get thru’ that STUBBORN head of her’s when she tries to call to realize this is OVER!!   And she’ll go on telling people that I don’t care!  {that was NOT true – until now!}

I’ve got to believe that somewhere in all this there’s a Romans 8:28 blessing!!

Meanwhile, sigh, there is one extra layer of complication – see, we are different races, though personally I had no problem with that.  Loved her like a sister, though I was never fully convinced she was a real Christian.   Yet it never dawned on me she would tell relatives both the “good & the bad” about me …. At least from HER PERCEPTION.  So…. I’ve had people drive by my house (her cousin who I recognized)  & recently a black couple PRETENDING to be JW’s….. I really think they just wanted in my house!  Why do I think this?  Don’t you think it’d be WEIRD for someone coming to “witness” for their religion to not EVEN knock at the door nor ring the doorbell??  But to bend over & peep in windows instead????  And to just merely “toss” a folded up JW pamphlet down at the door.

This is one of those times that I now resent & regret ever having become friends with her.  And believe me, I’ll be far more cautious from now on.

THANK YOU for praying for protection & most of all that this will dissolve without turning me into an obsessed loon!