Steve Coerper (4
"Re: "To Steve
Coerper re 'Jezebel Spirit' " (1 Jan 2013)"
Thanks for considering my comments and for your
response. Nothing in my article or in what follows is
intended to give cover to husbands, Christian or otherwise,
who refuse to love their wives as Christ loved the
Jesus paid the ransom, the "bride price" for His church, but
that was the starting point. He also provides loving
leadership, guidance and direction. I don't believe
His love is "cafeteria plan," nor do I believe it is subject
to definition or modification by the church, or by us.
I believe that many men are willing to provide loving
leadership and protection and all the rest, but the wives
won't receive it. They want "love" on their terms.
And one of their terms is "shared headship."
Marriage is not a partnership. It is two people
becoming one. The one new person has ONE head; a
two-headed person is a monstrosity. This does not mean
subservience, but it necessitates Biblical submission.
For all those readers who can't see this, or refuse to
accept it (which I believe is most often the case), they
will continue to look for an excuse in either the husband's
alleged shortcomings or in 1 Cor. 16, incorrectly
understood. And their marriages will continue to
founder as the blame-game continues.
Speaking of Ahab:
But there was no one like Ahab who sold himself
to do wickedness in the sight of the LORD, because
Jezebel his wife stirred him up.
We can only wonder what it would have been like had not
Jezebel "stirred him up." We don't read about the
"spirit of Ahab," nor does he, for all his nastiness, appear
in the New Testament as a model of anything.
And he behaved very abominably in following idols,
according to all [that] the Amorites had done, whom the
LORD had cast out before the children of Israel.
So it was, when Ahab heard those words, that he tore
his clothes and put sackcloth on his body, and fasted and
lay in sackcloth, and went about mourning.
And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite,
"See how Ahab has humbled himself before Me? Because
he has humbled himself before Me, I will not bring the
calamity in his days. In the days of his son I will bring
the calamity on his house."
- 1 Kings 21:25-29
Again, this does not justify lovelessness, bitterness, or
any of the other wrongs that are properly the fault and
responsibility of the husband.
The rubber is about to meet the road. Men want
respect; women want security. Christian women should
find their security in Christ and should realize it through
their husbands. Often, they instead seek security in
"things" - career, possessions, and control. These
things are about to be stripped away, and
then .... w e s h a l l
s e e ! !
A Christian man is a man on a mission. He has a
purpose selected by God (some think man may participate in
the selection) and his wife's role is to be his suitable
helper. She is assigned by God with the responsibility
of helping him fulfill his purpose, not to find her own
purpose that she may like better, and not to compete
with him for leadership in the marriage.
Your understanding of the Ananias and Sapphira incident is a
little imaginative. She paid for her loyalty with her
life? And Peter, under the guidance of the Holy
Spirit, got it wrong?? She and her husband "agreed
together" in this matter (Acts 5:9). She was not the
unwilling co-conspirator. I encourage all to read the
account and decide 1) whether Sapphira acted out of loyalty,
and 2) whether this case illustrates a problem that resulted
from Biblical submission.
You bring up a lot of examples that you seem to think are
Biblical justification for women being in submission
directly to God and leaving their husbands "out of the loop"
(Abigail) or making decisions without their husband's
participation (Hannah). Neither of these women treated
their husbands in a shabby or disrespectful way. If
you see these as Biblical examples for women being justified
or receiving divine approbation for not submitting to their
husbands, bring it up at the Bema seat.
I'm not going to respond point-for-point. Christian
marriage is a mess: don't take my word for it, ask
George Barna (quoted in The
Kingdom That Turned the World Upside Down
by David Bercot) who found that "the divorce rate among
born-again American Christians was higher than the
divorce rate among Americans as a whole."
Crenflo Dollar presents an unBiblical opinion; another
hammer-blow to the foundation of Christian marriage. I
wonder what the divorce rate is in his congregation.
If it's your opinion that 1 Cor 11:3 is being misinterpreted
and misapplied, that we each get our separate "marching
orders" from God, that a man has his mission and a wife has
hers, and that marriage is a "separate but equal" sort of
arrangement, then continue on and let us know how it works
out. I didn't come here to argue or to tick anybody
off. We'll continue in this moral freefall, the "blame
game" will go on, and we'll all be even more severely
wounded when we hit bottom.