Tina and all the doves,
You made a statement that keeps resounding in my heart...even before I read it!
" so, so related to my personal life and Random and off the wall to life"
I keep finding this here with the Five Doves forum. Almost every post I feel inclined to read has some sort of personal significance to me, although I'm no stranger to this, the intensity and celerity in which it comes is matched by another disconcerting aspect of my life, the radical separation that I'm experiencing from the world around me.
There's nothing random in the world or in your life, Tina, and I'm pretty sure you know that. You're just being politely self deprecating. To see and understand how we fit together in the body of Christ, I don't think is vain...except, perhaps to the carnal mind.
For example, while reading your post, I have a couple of other tabs up in my internet browser and E-sword going so I can reference scripture I come across(weak attempt at multitasking). I had been reading about the "Sign of the Bride" associated with 2Thesalonians 2 and started thinking about some numbers I was seeing and their octal conversion and ended up with this Strong's number H437 Al-lone, means: "oak". I wasn't getting anywhere(seemed random), so I decided to read my favorite forum and ultimately to your post...all of it meaningful, but then this, your quote, Tina..."So I looked that up (Enola) It says It is" ALONE "written backwards" Now that might not seem significant to most, but, the Hebrew word was still rolling through my mind, over and over. So you can imagine the sensation of reading a post addressing this very subject of piecing together a riddle using various people in different places and the seemingly "random" yet interconnected nature of some of our collective communication, while actually experiencing it!
Radical separation..................... Alone.
"Al-lone":OAK. Trees in scripture are symbolic of people and the oak in particular symbolizes strength, or more specifically, man's strength or "the arm of the flesh", self-reliance. That which opposes God and is "backwards" from His ways.
Since Enola is alone written backwards, perhaps we should be looking at antonyms for"gay" (and forget the modern"hijacked"meaning)
This is all starting to sound very personal and a bit random, yet, there is nothing random, especially to those that are "called" according to HIS purpose. As my connection to and the interwoven nature of "the body of Christ" is made manifest in my life(none of which I actually see with my physical eyes), I seem to become more remote from the world and those I thought were my siblings in the Lord. My biological family have made an enemy of me and it becomes more and more difficult to feel "happy" about any of the events that I see with my carnal eyes.
depressed, discouraged, sad, unhappy, upset, worried
I have become a bit discouraged, except that the Lord keeps showing me that IT is simply part of the process of "dying to the self"...sounds like your quote Tina,"(eye trick) was "kill your own" "
Am I the only one that is seeing his salvation worked out in tears and sadness, alone with nowhere to lay his head(sort of a metaphor, gang), despised, rejected and completely misunderstood by the world and most of the people I thought I was related to by "the blood of the Lamb".
Another antonym for gay is "dark or unclear"....there's something else I've been wanting to write about, without knowing how to approach the subject, but, those words "dark and unclear" have provided the perfect segue.....
I believe the Lunar eclipse was symbolic of the world coming between Christ and His bride(or at least, trying). The sun is as the SON of RIGHTEOUSNESS and the moon is symbolic of the bride, so the earth casting its blood-red shadow on the moon signifies some sort of spiritual obstruction(at least for those of us that were able to see it, i.e. America).
At the very end of our beloved Lord' life, something most horrific was happening to Him...by His own words, there seemed to be an absence of His Fathers presence..." Mat 27:46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? We are HIS BODY, we should and will experience various aspects of His life interspersed throughout our own(and also broken up between us all, little bit here, little bit there), I know this because the Father has revealed it to me in my own walk(as magnificently imperfect as it is). Also significant that this was the only place they Quote Christ in the original Aramaic(or is it Hebrew, I'm too illiterate to know). What could that mean?
So, here we are at the end and somehow there's some void, some shadow cast upon the face of my heart. Some darkness in a room where I know light exists or existed...no, its still there, just darkened a bit.
Tina, thank you for your obedience to the Holy Spirit and your mention of the seemingly random aspects of your own life(random yet coherent), because that is the apparent nature of my entire life. Letting God's circumstances provide the direction which guide our steps very often appears random. Not only to ourselves, but, most definitely to the unsaved world around us...not to mention our kindred in the Lord!
There is so much more that I would like to say, but, it would only seem vain and random to most. The puzzle still is coming together in Gods own time! God Bless you ALL.
your brother, Chris