In order Palistinians reject two state solution(read we think Iran is going to wipe them out for us), YouTube threat by anonymous against Israel (read they should check out genesis 12:3 first), Damascus under virtual lockdown for two weeks (read it would be a ghost town if we let people leave), Newsbrief defecting Syrian officer regime used nerve gas on civilians, (read Isaiah 17 as soon as Israeli sensors get a whiff of the stuff), and more Israel embassies targeted, Israel says they can harm Iran in ways US cannot, Israel planning to build on temple mount! Etc! My wife is watching Regis and Kelly or just Kelly you know the more I refrain from tv the more it sounds exactly like what calls it Godless chatter! I could go outisde in the summer and fall its twenty out now! I remember sitting outside September 29th looking up thinking I made it feeling joyful! I remember hearing my name called twice in two dreams and being happy, I remember feeling all tingly the 28th and thinking this is it! Now I after watching new years eve, the Super Bowl (I had to leave the room could not physically watch the halftime show ), and now seeing the Grammys and just had in red flashing letters this is war starts Friday as I was eating my soup I am not joyful I am motion sick like I am on a bad ride everyone else is still enjoying and the maniac carnival worker is kicking in high gear as the bolts start flying off! That's how I feel right now and pepto bismal is not going to help! I read my son a story called just me and my dad about going camping together everyone is it becoming clear everyone wants what they had from about 1977-2007 relative peace and stability but from 2008 on things have been getting worse and while everyone is watching Kelly we are watching and the bolts are about to fly off careening the ride into a ditch! I can read to my son about us going camping but I cannot walk in the vanity of my mind anymore and think this world is lollipops and gumdrops it's poo covered in chocolate looks good but man what an aftertaste! I want to go camping with my son still just in Heaven I prayed psalm 23 with him tonight Lord lead me by still waters make me lie in green pastures restore my soul uphold me for your rightousness sake! This is truly my only hope and that I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Guys we may have days and everyone around me acts like we have a thousand years! Can you picture me eating soup looking up at the tv on food network and seeing in flashing red letters This is War starts Friday! Watching stopped being joyful September 29th! It's been a pretty gut wrenching exhausting lonely scary desperate head banging on the wall jaw dropping ride since then and well everything else seems vain and fake so I hang on another second through Jesus and look around with a tear in my eye alot of the time at those around me just going about not even knowing anymore what to say the one post where God told the pastor it's now time to concentrate on just family. Well you all I hope are my family my mom and dad and most relatives are gone I just have one little scared sheep and the funny thing is as he clings to me I desperately pray to Jesus to cling to Him! We're in a minefield only He knows the safe path home it's time not to just follow Him it's time to step exactly where He just did. And great I'm dizzy! I am so needing a Lord to direct my path and a savior a good Shepard to swing his staff and get me and I pray my family including my doves family home!