My prayers for you have gone out. It stinks being an addict. I have been one for many years. About 5 years ago I got into recovery
and finally with help from God and many brethren I'm learning to walk in the grace of God. I think worse than the actual behavior
addictions hold on us is the constant condemnation the enemy throws at us. It isolates us and causes us to turn inward with self
contempt. I have learned that God's grace is bigger than any addiction. His love truly covers a multitude of our sins. And that's
why we so desperately need Jesus' love and grace. It's always there no matter what we do. It's truly amazing.
I once heard a speaker say that God isn't as much concerned with a change in our behavior as He is with a change of our heart.
Your posture of wanting more of God and repenting of sin is far more pleasing to Him than having your "act" together. We'll never have true
freedom from sin on this earth. My addictions have humbled me and made me realize I can't do it alone. And how so very much I need
the grace and mercy of our Lord daily. God is pleased with you Jason.