Thank you, precious brother & sisters, for your response to my Christmas 2007 post of 12/28:
 
http://www.fivedoves.com/letters/dec2007/peggym1228.htm
 
I am easily addicted to ANYthing I love, be they good things or bad things.  I gave up a 30-year drinking/partying habit in 2002, a 35-year smoking habit in 2006, and about all earthly "enjoyments" within that time (I rededicated my life to Yahshua right after I gave up drinking, and the Holy Spirit has been changing me from the inside-out [Richard, too] ever since that point.).  But I am still highly addicted to the End Times, Rapture, and Eternity... I can't get enough of reading about it, daydreaming about it, and deeply longing for it... almost like withdrawal symptoms, as Chip brought up.  It literally HURTS to have to keep waiting for something you long that deeply for.  I pray every single day, several times a day, for His SOON return (as I tell Him, "SOON" in "human" terms), and that He will allow all my loved ones to live to see that return, and my Mom is 83, my Dad 87, both in shockingly good health, and those of you who "know" me, know that Richard has been through more health problems in the 12 years we've been together than I can tell you... at LEAST once a year.  So I'm praying for his continued health until then as well!  I'm feeling great about my relationship with the Lord, as is Richard.  But I'm tired, and I'm frustrated, and I'm sick of the unfairness of the world system... the Christian bashing, God bashing, trying to remove all evidence of Christianity in this world, hatred of the Jews, and on and on and on.
 
Sister Dawn Street, it was nippy here too, not cold, definitely not snowy, but didn't feel like Christmas.  And I even had my baby girl (Shelly, 35) and her husband and our step-grandsons with us, which is highly unusual, since they usually go to her husband's parent's house on Christmas, as well as my 32-year-old son Michael, who usually has to work (he's a waiter at two restaurants).  My kids all live in Houston (not too terribly far from where I work), which is 1.5 hours from our home, so we don't get to see each other often at all.  I started listening to Christmas carols the day after Monday after Thanksgiving, on the way to work.  But I never did get around to putting up decorations... not even for the party.  In fact, I didn't even get to finish cleaning house!  We just didn't feel like it, not to mention the fact that time is speeded up so fast these days, and everything is so hectic, that people can barely find time to draw a breath, much less, sit and relax!
 
Sister Dawn Dominick... good choice of words to describe the season... forced, and like you also said, it was almost depressing... why, I couldn't tell you.  There was nothing going wrong in my life at the time.  My birthday was December 21st... for the first time ever, I didn't really celebrate it.  We spent 2 hours shopping in H-E-B for the party the next day, then an additional 2 hours at The Dollar Store (why they call it that, I'll never know... NOTHING there is only $1!!!) and the Pharmacy.  Back home, and wrapping more homemade gifts (everything I gave away this year was homemade... either crocheted items, special personal photos or collages, and stationery that I created).  Then some housecleaning and cooking.  And to answer your question:
 
I just don't have the spiritual fortitude to look that far ahead anymore.  One day at a time is about all I can stand.  How about you?
 
Here, here!  It's an exercise in frustration!  I KNOW it has to be near His return, but it keeps on day in and day out, as always.  It bums me no end to think we may have to spend yet another year without Yahshua returning for us!  And you didn't bring me down at all!  It's nice to know others feel the same way... as they say, misery loves company.  :)  And I think it's more than just the fact that we are human.  I think the Spirit lays it on our hearts to ache for His return.  I think it's yet another sign of the nearness of His return for us to feel this way.  I hope to meet you in the air very soon too, sis!
 
And sister Diane... I could pretty much make the same claim as you, that it was pretty much joyless to me.  I just couldn't drum up the enthusiasm that I usually feel at that time of year... it just wasn't fun!  And also like you, it felt like just any other day of the week.  I also didn't bother with a Christmas tree this year.  I put the gifts on my bed for the family to unwrap.  And believe it or not, I, too, thought of the Wal-Mart angel!  Bummer!!!  :)
 
Love you all!
Peggy
www.his-forever.com