It is a bit of a paradox that God seems to be pressing upon my heart during this intense time of waiting for our bridegroom to come, that He wants me to rest in Jesus who is inside of me while I wait for Jesus to come for me. I am speaking on a heart level.
By my count I am looking at just over 42 days of Him possibly coming back during the Feast of Trumpets time frame. After all of the years of waiting and watching, one would think that this would feel like a short amount of time. Instead, it feels like it is a "year" away. I am not sure why but that is where I am at right now.
Yet Jesus is fully present to me now, even as I am typing these words.
I think of faith as abandoning myself to a rest in what/Who is true regardless of how I might feel/think in a given moment. It seems that over time God has been revealing and purging my heart from idols, things which I have looked to to get me by in life yet apart from Him. In other words, illusions.
I have asked God to reduce me to focusing only on Him and His Son. It seems that He is doing that. I did not anticipate how much my heart was attached to other things. An strong sense of "hollowness" is experienced as I look to those idols at this season, with a lot of whining and groaning to go along with it.
What has been a real benefit to me during this pruning/purging season and what has greatly helped me to drink from Jesus is two books I have come across by the same author, Sarah Young. One is a devotional called "Jesus Calling" and the other is more topical called "Jesus Lives". I have bought a few copies for friends I know and I recommend taking at least a look at these at your local bookstore. I have found them at Barnes and Noble.
In the books Sarah puts to words what she believed Jesus was pressing upon her heart during her times alone with Him. She uses a number of scripture references for each day's reading or for each topic, depending on which book you are looking at.
At first I was a "fuzz" guarded because she writes as Jesus is actually saying the words. I have read a number of things in the past where people claimed they were speaking for God and had found/discerned them to not really be doing so. I believe that no one is to take the place of the Holy Spirit in speaking to me of Christ or the Father, and especially without scripture.
What I have found is that the Spirit has affirmed to me repeatedly the messages/words Sarah presents. It has helped me a great deal to accept on a heart level who He really is for me. I tend to be intellectually oriented but this has fallen far short of satisfying my heart's longing of relating to the very present person of Jesus Himself
The books and their content are very Biblically based, refreshingly so.
I believe that when we finally get home, our whole way of living/being will be focused on Jesus. It is my thinking that during this season of waiting, that He is training me in that now. I did not comprehend to what extreme I was not really doing that on a daily or hourly basis or "minutely" basis.
In a way I have found that I need Jesus to enable me to wait for Jesus.