Hey melissa I know what you mean I've been there and its always good to check your self the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. I'm not sure what you watched but I felt the same way years ago when I read choo thomas heaven is so real. I go to spiritlessons.com and listen to experiences of heaven and hell. The ones that saw hell say the same thing for instances one man went to hell for drinking. The bottom line is Jesus did pay EVERYTHING. So did the man just go to hell because he drank NO but that was the sin he chose over Jesus. If he were to give up drinking would he have gone to heaven NO because works don't get you into heaven . It's the CONDITION OF THE HEART! Either you give it to Jesus or you don't. Am I going to heaven because I don't sin no way because I do but because JC paid the price and ransom me I am pure and I am holy only because he is and he is in me. Are we supposed to pay our tithe are we supposed to give to the poor are we supposed to not lie of course but is that what gets us into heaven no. When people go to heaven and jesus says you must be perfect remember Jesus is not saying give to the poor and be perfect he is saying give your heart to me and be made perfect. He died because we are sinners does that give us an excuse to sin no but we do,if we could be holy and perfect on our own he wouldn't of had to die but he did have to because all sin and come short of the glory of God. We are supposed to check our heart look at our motives humble ourselves and when we do like you are doing satan doesn't like it so he makes us condemn ourselves that we are not doing enough to get into heaven but it is a trick because nothing can get us there but Jesus. So when he says be without blemish if you are his then you are. I listen to Bob Jones and his testimony about heaven he said one man went to hell because of his soil. What! His soil that doesn't make sense could you go to hell because you like to work in your garden? Of course not! Its the HEART! What was in his heart. His yard was his idol, he never thought about Jesus he loved his yard. To a real christian that sounds silly but I know plenty of people who say there christians and they idolize all kinds of things jewelry,there house,food,there beauty. Can you like those things yes but there are plenty of people who chose those things over Jesus in there heart. We have to take Jesus' word very seriously. When he said don't love the things of this world than apparently there are people that do or he wouldn't have said it. Remember the works we do are him in us anyway its never us,he always gets the honor and credit because in the bible it says man is like filthy rags but because of him we are made clean and pure. When we receive our reward in heaven we will take our crowns off and lay them at his feet because he is our all in all!Try to do your best because you love him not because you think you have to.
God bless you,