Dear Josh and Doves,

Your letter has touched my heart Josh, you expressed an anguish that many of us feel right now one way or another.  Last time I posted here it was for prayers in regards to the situation I was going through, I received love gifts and the prayers said for me I believed protected me from totally giving up being excited about life and most of all the blessed hope Our Lord Jesus told us to be comforted by.  I believe that these feelings are directly from the enemy who  is trying to rob us of the joy and comfort from this hope, and I believe that we are totally responsible to fight this enemy for one another.  If you were telling how you feel to a shrink he'll probably tell you that you are depressed, I did and got just that diagnosis.  I am fighting right now against the powers and principalities at work in my life, I have to constantly be aware when my thoughts stray away from Jesus, I have to persistently pray to the Holy Spirit to fill me, and beg My Father in Heaven to find me worthy to escape any more suffering, but is it what He really wants me to do or am I to recognize that the very painful, both physically and mentally, experiences I am going through is what is going to save me in the end?  Is God weeding out the faithful from the unfaithful as in the wheat and the tares, is He using our troubles on this earth to purify us, is this what He meant when he says in Matt 24:13  "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved?"

Dear Josh I am so very guilty of giving in as you said, and maybe it is those silly lists we make to try to figure out when He is coming to get us because right now we could use a ride out of here.  Those lists we make could be the very cause of our impatience, we perhaps, in the hope of finding comfort, put too much importance in those lists and the enemy may be using them to make us lose our ability to endure.  I am penniless, was homeless for a while, have a sick body and I want out of here, but while waiting on the Lord I am trying to bear, endure what I am going through too,and follow what Paul tells us "Philippians 4:11 Paul said, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content",   and I know many others are experiencing those same feelings and want to learn to be content no matter what the situation is.  So Josh I will pray for you, with you, and with all of us who are at the edge of even insanity because of the times we are in and how close we know we are to being going home, soon and very soon we are going to see Our King, pray, please that all of us may find the strength to turn to Our Lord so that we may be made stronger to endure till the end.  Paul said he had to "learn" to be content.  Teach me Oh Lord!

Keep looking up, it can't be much longer,
Bless you all,
In His Love,
Barbara

P.S. Doves thank you for your prayers and love from my whole heart.

-
Psalm 34:7-8, "The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them.  Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!  Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!   There is no want to those who fear Him."

Joel 2:12-14, "Now, therefore, says the Lord, turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.   So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the Lord your God for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm."

Matthew 6:31-33, Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the gentiles seek.  For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.