Susan B (11 Apr 2011)
"Urgency in Spirit"

Dear Doves,
Lately I seem to be wishing and praying with all my might "Jesus, Jesus, Lord - please return quickly".
Is this wrong?  Sometimes I think of all the lost souls still to be taught the word of the Lord and I wonder if it is wrong to want Jesus to return as speedily as possible.
Yet - I can find no joy in the world.  I am suffering from some depression but even so I have imagined myself happy and with everything perfectly as it should be in my life here on earth (house, car, money etc) - and even that does not impress me at all.  I simply want to "go home".
Is anybody else feeling the same way?
I try to not doubt when day after day nothing happens - in my mind I'm still not convinced the rapture is pre trib - mid trib or post trib - but that does not really matter.  What does matter is the urgency of my pleading with the Lord to bring His loved ones home.
I had a terrible shock the other night.  I was at my Mum's home for dinner (she is 87 and very independent) and I said "wouldn't it be wonderful if the Lord came soon to gather us all to Him?"  She immediately said "no - I'm not ready I still have things I want to do".!!  I felt alarmed that she would feel that way.  My sister (her eldest daughter) is dying slowly of cancer  - it's been a long and hard fight and she is now off chemotherapy as there is no more they can do.  My immediate thought was "oh how selfish of Mum to want to stay in the world" - but then I wondered if I was the one being selfish in wanting so badly to go to my heavenly home.
Can anybody help me with these conflicting thoughts?  We are told to be "watching and waiting" for our Saviour so surely it is something to long for with one's heart?
Thanks in advance and
God bless you all,
YSIC, Susan B.