Seeker (27 Apr 2011)
"empathy for Kristy"


 
My Dear Kristy,
I cannot enter into the pain of losing your husband, companion, head, friend, and lover.  I cannot enter into the pain of losing your son's father, daddy, mentor, and buddy.  I am so very sorry.
 
I can feel with you over the pain of losing someone precious to the act of suicide.  You see a little over 2.5yrs ago, my oldest son took his own sweet life and cut it short.  Life at 19yrs had become more than he could bear (or so he thought).  He was the eldest of our six children, saved by grace, homeschooled, and adored by his parents, friends, and loved ones. 
 
When our family hit a dark time, we found our foundation to be largely made of sand.  The storms continued to rage, and the enemy kept kicking, and our son, being a tender spirit, left...  That was the night of August 17-18, 2008. 
 
But I must share with you the hope.  The Lord did walk WITH ME (and our family) through that valley, and He continues to do so.  He has shown Himself to be oh, so strong, and I am finding this heart-breaking event (Job 3:25) to be a gift of His mercy for me.  I have spent many nights and days alone with my God, and He truly is my All in All. 
 
I will pray for you to enter into His rest.  I am praying that the visions of that nightmarish day cease -- they cannot hurt you any longer, but they can cause you to run back to Jesus.  I will pray that as He binds up your wounds, you will begin to see and hear.  I will pray that as the many counsellors come to you to explain this in "worldly ways," you will be set free in your spirit by the truth.  I will pray with you for your surrender -- Jesus is worthy.
 
I believe that Eddie (based on your testimony) is absent from his body of flesh now, and he is present with the Lord.  He is no longer cumbered with the cares, anxieties, and pain this world has to offer.  He made this choice (and it was wrong), but our Father was present.  And now, he is no longer bound by time and space.  He is free.
 
There is a time for the grief to feel so overwhelming and raw -- it is now.  There is a time for pain unbearable -- it is now.  There is a time for amazing grace -- unmerited favor, undeserved worth, unearned love -- now. . . and it will go on and on.  And the time for "what if?" will pass on to days of "what now?" 
 
Kristy, when I read your entry, my heart just sunk in grief with you.  I do feel your pain (to some degree).  I know that you will feel His comfort -- keep your heart soft, my dear.
  Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.  We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.  And so we will be with the Lord forever.  Therefore encourage each other with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (NIV)
 
Lovingly from my heart,
Seeker