Susan, join the club. We seem to be around the same age, as my mother is also 87. Yes I feel the same way as you do, since my husband went to be with the Lord three and a half years ago, I have lost interest in life, just waiting for the Lord to take me. I pray daily for him to come, and yes I do feel selfish. My mother wants to go too.
In our local magazine that I get weekly to do the crossword, there was an article about depression there are 9 points, I have eight of them. There is nothing I want here on earth, except, I want to sell my home and move on, but the Lord hasn't seen fit to allow that, am not sure why He is keeping me here, unless it is His soon return to fetch us. My home has been on the market for eighteen months now and one prospective buyer was unable to get a bond so that has now fallen through this last week.
I am so grateful to have the Lord in my life as He watches and cares for me at all times.
You are not alone.