RUNNING FREE

CRIPPLED WAS I

FOR YEARS I CRAWLED

AND BLINDLY BUMPED INTO BLANK WALLS

BOUND BY CHAINS NO EYE COULD SEE

BUT NEVERTHELESS THEY FAST HELD ME.

AND IN MY MIND A CANCER GREW

AND MADE MY PERSONALITY

TWO

UNTIL I KNEW MYSELF NO MORE

AS I CAME AND WENT OUT THE SAME DOOR

A SMILE ON MY LIPS WAS A MAJOR EVENT

A MOMENT OF JOY

SEEMED TO BE HEAVEN SENT

BUT MOMENTS WERE MOMENTS

NOT EASILY DELAYED

SO THE JOY ON MY SEASHORES

ALL TOO SOON WASHED AWAY.

HURT WAS I

FOR YEARS I CRIED

AND WHEN LOVE CAME NEAR, I CRAWLED INSIDE

FOR LOVE TO ME

WAS A WORD TO SWEAR BY

I HAD NO IDEA

IT WAS A WORD TO CARE BY.

SO ARMORED HARD AND PROTECTED WELL

I WAS KING OF MY CITY IN THE MIDST OF HELL

UNTIL ONE DAY

I FELL AND BROKE

MY SUIT OF ARMOR, MY OVERCOAT

AND I GROVELED IN FEAR

IN THE DIRT OF THE EARTH

DESIRING TO LIVE

BUT HATING MY BIRTH.

AFRAID WAS I

ALWAYS AFRAID

OF WHAT I'D MAKE

AND OF WHAT I'D MADE

RELIEF FROM FEAR

WAS LIKE SNATCHES OF LIGHT

THE FLICKER OF CANDLES

IN THE DARK COLD OF NIGHT

AND FEAR WOULD RETURN

AND CLOSE IN ON ME

AND I'D LOSE TASTE OF HOPE

THAT I'D EVER BE FREE.

CAN A HUMAN BE A BALL OF YARN?

WOUND UP, MESSED UP, AND YET UNWOUND?

THAT'S HOW I ALWAYS SAW MYSELF

A BALL OF YARN IN A BOX ON A SHELF

WITH NO ONE TO NEED ME OR WANT ME OR CARE

IF I ROLLED OFF THE SHELF OR IF I STAYED THERE.

BUT ONE DAY GOD CAME

ADN HE TOOK ME DOWN

AND STRAIGHTENED MY LEGS

AND SET ME ON THE GROUND

HE OPENED MY EYES AND TOOK FEAR AWAY

AND WITH A WAVE OF HIS HAND

DARKNESS TURNED INTO DAY

THEY SAY HE IS A MIRACLE WORKER

I'VE READ OF THE RED SEA

ONCE HE TURNED THE WATER INTO WINE

AND STROLLED ON THE GALLILEE

BUT THE GREATEST MIRACLE HE EVER PERFORMED

WAS THE ONE HE DID IN ME.

FOR I NO LONGER CRAWL OR FALL

BUT NOW I'M RUNNING FREE

AND NOT AWAY FROM.........

BUT TOWARD.......................

NOT IN FEAR OF..................

BUT BECAUSE OF................

NOT IN BLINDNESS..............

BUT IN JOY.

by Rhonda Jackson

April 12, 1983 12:40 a.m.